Where does Billy Blood Drop keep his savings?... A blood bank...bet you never googled "blood transfusion jokes" before...well, I just did, and I'm sorry to announce there are too many links to mention...while most of the jokes aren't politically correct or particularly clean...they are pretty funny...
I'm having a blood transfusion tomorrow...ahhh... some really thick Red Blood Cell filled Blood...and although I know from last time that I don't leave running out to the Chariots of Fire song or the Rocky theme song...I do feel amazingly better in a few days...I'm to that pastey scary white color again...soooo NOT healthy looking!
True story...earlier this week I couldn't sleep...I mean I was wide awake and Morgan had already meandered downstairs during the night and taken over my spot in the bed, so I decided to give her bed a try...By the time I made it upstairs, the chest pains were so severe and I was so freaked out that I almost called 911 for an ambulance...I mean I've had the Neulesta sternum pain, but this was scary...I had the scene all played out in my head...I would tell 911 to send an ambulance without sirens or lights and I would meet the paramedics outside and climb into the ambulance...enjoy my ride to the hospital while under medical care...and then I would call Shane at a decent hour and let him know I was fine at OLOL Hospital...and yes, I do create elaborate and senseless scenes in my head in order to distract myself from reality...I particularly like dreaming about what I would do with my lottery winnings and I can count on both the hands the number of lottery tickets I have bought since I have been of legal gambling age - ie. 12 in Louisiana...
so anyway...back to the story...guess what caused that insane shortness of breath...anemia...yep...the human body is amazing...don't kid yourself, because that cheeseburger you ate for lunch is somehow going to affect your little toe...truth people...
Which leads me to my other recent obsession...my post cancer diet...besides wanting to rid myself of the 35 pounds of "FLUID" I am retaining - ie: fat...I can't wait to rid my body of all these chemo chemicals and starchy carbs that have been my mainstay since Chemo #1...so without using a "label", I am making a list of foods that I would like to be my GO TO foods post cancer. Ironman has so many books on healthy eating and good nutrition that he was more than happy to give me a list of suggestions...
So I started with "The Kind Diet" by Alicia Silverstone, yes the actress, but it is well researched and it is a down to earth read...So 60 pages into the book every reader has sworn off all meat, poultry and dairy products...I mean who would want to drink milk from cows that are kept in tight quarters and fed huge doses of hormones to keep them lactating long after the calves have been swept away...easy...then I start back on my decorating magazines and I think, but I really like the occasional glass of chocolate milk...so maybe I could just drink a little Organic Milk when I need a fix...surely organic farmers are kinder to the cows...r worse...ya' know the Kleinpeter cows on the TV commercials look really happy, so maybe I would just keep a little Kleinpeter milk in the fridge...
now I'm onto my third decorating magazine and I remember how quick and easy it is to grab a piece of fat free string cheese on the go...and seriously there isn't anything natural about fat free cheese, so I"m sure no cow is harmed from the milk quotient..and damn...there you are back at the "don't eat highly processed foods rule"...and I think back to "The Kind Diet" book and I remember that humans are the only living being that drink the milk a) of another species and b) after infancy and then I remember - ewwww....weird...crap...I'm back to no dairy again...
and this is how mind works...nonstop...so as I type this I am eating a rice cake dipped in peanut butter...both pretty natural, but then I can't stop thinking about the fat content in the peanut butter or how they get the puffed rice to be in the round shape...all while drinking a Coke Zero which off course is on the BAD foods list...hello...caffeine, fake sugar, carbonation...nothing good for you, but somehow it still tastes good and I'm still drinking it...
So I'm hoping the Aleve takes over soon and I can move from this seated position and lose myself in my decorating magazines as I drift off to sleep dreaming of the Chariots of Fire theme song....
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4 comments:
Hang in there!!! and Oh, the imagination!! I feel your pain. And amazing how over active and insane rediculous it gets when we are stressed. I'm right there with you on that. Ask me about some of my divorce scenarios sometime. Ha
I hope you feel better after your transfusion today Heather. Your outlook amazes me! Stay strong honey, it makes all the difference.
Who needs happy cows from California when we have Kleinpeter?! Happy local Southern cows. No nasty hormones, and it sure tastes better than the other stuff. You definitely deserve chocolate milk whenever you want it!
We try to eat healthy around here, but we're very heavy on the dairy products. Hormone-free and organic dairy products seem a better bet to me personally than a dairy-free diet.
In my personal opinion, I think the "humans are the only ones who drink milk..." argument is a bit baseless. We're also the only species to cook our meat. :)
Actually, I know that the food we eat greatly affects our health. I'm all for minimizing the junk that humans consume. I think the real key is moderation.
Good luck with your research!
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