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Thursday, March 24, 2011

The last time...

A friend Erin who recently endured her last chemo treatment sent me a message on Monday.  She told me to remember that as I battle through the chemo side effects this time - I need to keep reminding myself that this is the LAST TIME!  I've said it aloud to my empty house more than once this week - if my walls could talk!

But it's true - I've made it this far...What's a few more days...

Morgan fell asleep holding my hand tonight.  I had tears in my eyes as she told me about her dream where Mommy isn't sick anymore - oh boy...how this had affected all of us...from Shane and the girls to my mom who has really pitched in with the girls, to Ashley who has been confronted full force with running an accounting business during the busiest time of the year, to Jen who has found ways to cheer me up on even the darkest days, and all of my family and friends who have pitched in to make life a little more normal for us...

Pre-cancer, I took 5 meds for anxiety and migraines - once my daily cancer regimen started, I slowly phased out the 5 meds.  I mean how many pills could I swallow in a day??  And plus, as I fought cancer, I stopped worrying about all of the little things - the things that made me need those 5 pills...

Now of course I will talk to my doctor, and I may need to reintroduce some of those meds, but I seriously doubt my anxiety will ever reach the pre-cancer level - I simply won't let it.  I have always thought a laugh could turn any day around - and  I believe that more than ever now... but along with the laughing, I will stop and celebrate the little things...

I don't ever want to be too busy to read that bedtime story, or hear about the class pet, or take that long weekend with Ironman... what is more important than my family?

I can't wait to get creative again...I have missed my scrapbook room and playing with paper and pictures...

My "To-Do" list is full, but it is so different than my pre-cancer lists - this time it is only filled with enjoyable things...no laundry - who cares if the laundry is done...we can always buy more socks!!!

Now make sure you find something to laugh about!!  I promise it will make you feel better!

8 comments:

Kristy said...

Who wouldn't adore a post like this! Everyone needs reminders of putting life into perspective. Thanks for taking us along for the ride on your blog- I can tell that all your readers feel extra invested in your fight, triumph, and laughs along the way!!!

Debby Schuh said...

Thank you for the reminder... thinking of you today and praying for you to stay strong!

Teri said...

Live for today. Tomorrow is tomorrow.Yesterday was yesterday. As long as there is a walmart there will be clean underwear and socks. As long as there is a nudist colony somewhere we don't need a washing machine. I'm so thankful that this journey is almost over for you. I truly believe God puts things in our life for a reason. We might not understand it but hopefully we can learn from it. I have learned by watching you that we as women can overcome the hardships that life deals us. That being a mother can make us move mountains for our children. You are an inspiration to all women. I continue to pray that you grow stronger each and everyday. That when you are finally said and done with this cancer crap your hair grows back naturally highlighted so you can use that money for more scrapbooking supplies!

Maria McGary said...

You have a book here - you know.

Barb said...

Amen sister! So proud to get to witness your journey. It gives me strength.

Donna J said...

All I can say is you are amazing!!!

Kristen said...

Beautifully said, as always. You and your wonderful family are always in my thoughts and always in my prayers.

Ami said...

Wow! Nicely Said Heather. I'm proud of you!! That's awesome!!