Wednesday, April 21, 2010

my garden kicks ass...

I love Karen Taintor... but really... my garden does ANYTHING BUT kick ass!

so let's just pretend these are from my garden...

these are really from the Carousel Gardens in City Park - we had a fantastic weekend!

don't you hate when it takes all day to realize you're an idiot???

as you take OFF your eye makeup for the day - you realize that you used neutral lip liner as bronze eye liner....  not a good look....

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I married him for his VERY dry humor...

So I haven't been feeling tip top lately - certainly the stress of tax season could be the cause, but the symptons are so varied....
Tonight, I'm telling Shane about all of the different "ailments" I've had for about a month:

strange rash all over my arms and torso
occasional nausea
more frequent headaches
my gums are bleeding
my teeth are really sensitive
and the most painful: the knife feeling through my internal "lady parts"

I know they aren't related, and befuddled I say to Shane, "What am I going to do - walk into the doctor's office with this list of symptons?  What's he going to say after he stops laughing?"

Shane: "It's a Boy...."

so not funny....  going to find something to take in the medicine cabinet... and you just don't get to use "befuddled" enough...

Thursday, April 15, 2010

golly! liquor is quicker!!!

That's what you'll hear me and Ashley say at about 5:30 at the bar at Kona Grill. I will totally admit that after completing three things on my MUST DO list for today, I tapped out. I mean, I'm blogging on April 15th.... not much productivity going on with me... And a little while ago, I delivered a payroll via the nail salon - I HATE when I make a wrong turn!

In an effort to bond with my girls (ie. help them remember me...) we are heading to NOLA for the weekend. A trip to City Park to ride the Carousel and play in Storyland, a night in a hotel with a dip in the pool and then a trip to the Audubon Zoo. And after all of that, they MIGHT, just MIGHT forgive me for being absent since February 1. In addition to the already made promises of Chuck E Cheese (yuck!), It's My Party for indoor spacewalks, trips to the Spray Park and a million other things that I probably said yes too while in a partly coherent state.

I'll leave you with some pictures from last weekend's "Little Bridge Race". That's Pops with Morgan (Shane's dad). And the front of Avery's shirt says, "yeah, I run like a girl" and the back says, "Try and keep up". Daddy just can't help himself sometimes...

and here's a closeup of Pops and his girls... just saying... if you ever find yourself in a dark alley... you want him on YOUR side...but "his girls" melt his heart.

Gotta run - it's Happy Hour somewhere.....

Sunday, April 4, 2010

I love not camping...

I'm a New York City kind of idea of heaven is 7 Broadway shows in 5's an Oustalet/Hirschfeld girl kind of thing...Me, my mom, Ashley and Jen - all Broadway junkies...

So for Christmas, my mom bought tickets for all of the "girls" (the big ones) to see Wicked.  SO EXCITED.  We can't go to NYC every year (much to my chagrin), but at least we can see the Broadway Series in NOLA. 

My mom and Jen had both seen Wicked in NYC, but Ash and I hadn't and were TOTALLY PUMPED!  The first act was AMAZING!  The costumes, the music, the greeness... all fantastic.  Four...and yes, I mean four songs into the second act, and we hear "blizp" and the theater goes dark - completely dark - not just a little dark.  Of course Jen and I look at each other and start laughing.  She says, "The kid who tripped over the cord back stage is in BIG trouble!" 

A little panic goes through the audience - not to mention through Ashley.. as they ask us to stay in our seats.

A few minutes later, the director comes on stage and announces that there is a power outage in the area, and they were trying to determine the ETA to restoration.  More panic, coupled with hysterical laughter from me and Jen.  We are still making up scenarios... too many hairdryers in one socket...but the kid backstage who tripped over the cord still wins...Ashley is now envisioning a fire where we all get stuck in the theater and burn to death (NOW who wants to call me the pessimistic sister?)

To lighten the mood, I pull out my
Blackberry and get my mom to take our picture...
This is not a lie...The show is off, the theater is black and the usher comes up to me and tells me photography is prohibited and I need to delete the picture... REALLY????  Does she want to mess with me?

So after a while, the director comes out with an ETA from Entergy of 2am, so the crew wheels out a piano and Glinda and Elphaba sing "For Good" - lit only by 5 flashlights.  It was a powerful moment.  You could hear a pin drop in a theater with over 2,000 people.  After the duet, the cast said goodnight and the audience left the theater.  Everyone was disappointed naturally, but some people were demanding refunds, angry and outraged.  Really??  This was not Wicked's doing - if you want to complain - call Entergy, maybe??  But I say chalk it up to a natural disaster - a four alarm fire maybe caused a power outage and we just happenned to be in the right place at the wrong time. 

Since mom and Jen had seen the show, Ashley and I were able to hear the ending and on the way home. Ash and I vowed to make a trip very soon to NYC to see the show in its entirety!  A good ending for me!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Shane calls it imagination....

I tend to think "future psychopath"....  Here's the EXACT convo I had with Morgan yesterday as I was getting dressed...

Morgan:  Mommy, we watched the funniest movie.  It was called "Nut 'n Hunny".  Have you ever seen it?
Mommy:  I haven't seen it.  Did Miss Adrianna bring it?
Morgan:  No, Daddy bought it for us.  It was SO funny.
Mommy: I'm glad you liked it.

I start on my makeup and she looks my way and says, "TRICKED 'YA!!!!!" and ran away!

So she made up the entire story.  This is very troublesome to me...  I will take more meds....

Thursday, April 1, 2010

if by "happy" you mean trapped with no means of escape...? then yes, i'm happy

My mom once said (Ok - not once - WAY more than once)...  Not everyone can be beautiful, but everyone can present herself well.  So as the churning in my stomach increases, the 3am insomnia and night sweats kick into high gear, the dark circles under my eyes getting darker and my children calling the office at 10pm crying because I'm not home... I'm dealing with it as my mom would do - piling on the under eye concealer, bleaching my teeth and slappin' on the tanning gel...  Think that'll fool them???  Ok - maybe, just maybe the 5 daily prescribed drugs are keeping me from rocking in the fetal position on my bedroom floor.

But on this "never let 'em see you sweat" role that I am playing, I got all fancied up for the Mary Kay Spring Fling Fashion Show this week.  Pretty sure I hadn't had all my meds the day I agreed to do this, but it was fun and it got me out of the office one night this week and home early enough to see my girls and put them to bed.  And how could I resist when Melissa May called and said, "Heather, would you PLEASE be my model - we need women of all shapes and sizes..."  now if that doesn't lure you in what would???

The full figured girls MUST be represented!  So I go to Chico's for the outfit selection...  I thought I could choose something that I might actually where before I was 50 years old... but that was not the case... Chico's had decided what I was going to wear the minute I walked into the door... they were probably punishing me because I had M&A with me and it was a Friday afternoon

I am referring to the first outfit as Tutankhamen meets the Housewives of St. Tammany parish....  I'm sure there were more copper nailheads in my top than in any headpiece King Tut every wore...oh, and the belt just screams "I like to spend my husband's money"....

BUT, wait... the experience gets better....Chico's is CONVINCED that I am wearing this dress.  I try it on and it is VERY low cut and I casually mention that it would look better on a more well endowed women.... And to my surprise, I am promptly told that this is THE DRESS for flat chested women... So now I'm in the show representing the FLAT CHESTED FULL FIGURED GIRLS (kind of ironic...)

Since you have read this far, I will reward you with pictures from the event.  At least I can say, I laughed out loud at myself, and Melissa did a fantastic job with my makeup!

Back to the grind.... And please don't remind me that we only have 14 days left - that sends me into an absolute panic!