Monday, May 30, 2011

nervous nelly...

Before cancer, Morgan and I were neck and neck in the "worry" race...Along with the HELL, cancer gave me a new perspective, but poor Morgan didn't get the memo...She still worries about EVERYTHING!!!  I went to Lafayette on Thursday and Friday, and here is a sampling of her Thursday morning worries:

She walks into the bathroom and says, "I thought you said we were leaving early today...It's not early..When are you going to be ready?" (it was two hours earlier than the previous mornings)

In the car: "What is the speed limit?  It doesn't feel like you are going 45 - it feels like 70.  Are you sure you are going 45?"

"Are you sure you can drop us off at camp this early?" (Camp starts at 6:30am and I was dropping them off at 8am)

"Does Daddy know what to pack in our swim bags tomorrow?"

"Does Daddy know how the camp carpool line works?  Does he have the sign with our names on it?"

Morgan may drive me back to meds!  I'm sure there is a way that I could respond to her that might alleviate some of her anxiety - I just need to find out how.  How sick is it that I am thinking about visiting a child psychologist about Morgan's anxiety?   Quite honestly, I figure if there is ANYWAY to reverse her mindset (lessen if I can't reverse), then I need to start as early as possible...

Maybe I should frame this for Morgan's room :)


Peggy Houston, TX said...

I think it is brave to give your child the tools it needs to deal with life and how they view it. Its the same as reading and writing but America doesn't think so.

Sally @ Dont Wake the Kids said...

I can totally relate. I'm a worrier and so are my children.

I have often thought of sending them to child psychologists. But I do have a recommendation. My dad sent me this book: Feeling Good, The New Mood Therapy. It's helped me in the past, and I've used some of the techniques with the kids.

Good luck!

Kathleen Loughran said...

Ditto exactly what Peggy said.

Ami said...

I was, and still very much am, one of the biggest worriers I know. I have spent a lot of time, energy, and money trying to 'fix' myself. Honestly, some days are good, and others I'm a mess. One thing I can say though is that I wish my parents would have figured out a way to help me address my worry and anxiety when I was younger. We tried therapy once (but for a different reason – my parents’ divorce really messed me up), and I literally sat there and stared out the window for an hour. My parents never tried again. One of the reasons I think I worry as much as I do & deal with as much anxiety as I do, besides it being a family trait passed down to all the ladies in the family on my mother’s side, is because of things that happened to me when I was little that made me think bad things were going to happen to everyone I loved and I had no control over it (it was a loss thing, and still is – my complete lack of control over loss is at the root). So, my way of trying to gain back control has always been to worry as much as possible, to the point of it being obsessive, and to the point of driving me into depression, all while maintaining the hope that worrying would stop whatever bad things were going to happen, from happening at all. Yeah – I know, doesn’t make much sense, but it does to me for some reason.

I know you didn't solicit a request for advice, but for what it's worth - I know exactly how you feel and exactly how Morgan feels. There is nothing wrong with getting help and honestly, I wish my parents would have stuck with it for me and made me go and talk to someone about it, and helped me to find a way to manage my feelings and thoughts. For a long time I thought this was how everyone felt. When I realized I was so very wrong, I felt lost and didn’t know what to do. If they would have just opened a door for me and found me someone in whom I could confide, all at the same time as teaching me/showing me ways to deal with my thoughts, I think I would have let myself do a lot of things that because of worry and fear I didn’t do, and don’t do. Life has too much to offer to turn away from it all because worrying makes you so sure you don’t want to do something. As you know, at the end of the day, all worrying & anxiety do are make you more upset and freaked out. Teaching Morgan how to deal with that earlier on in her life will help her now and even more so later in life. Good luck – you’re a great mom. Don’t ever feel badly for wanting to help your children. They need it . Okay, I’m finished with my ramble – Keep hanging in there – you’re doing great!!!