My mom once said (Ok - not once - WAY more than once)... Not everyone can be beautiful, but everyone can present herself well. So as the churning in my stomach increases, the 3am insomnia and night sweats kick into high gear, the dark circles under my eyes getting darker and my children calling the office at 10pm crying because I'm not home... I'm dealing with it as my mom would do - piling on the under eye concealer, bleaching my teeth and slappin' on the tanning gel... Think that'll fool them??? Ok - maybe, just maybe the 5 daily prescribed drugs are keeping me from rocking in the fetal position on my bedroom floor.
But on this "never let 'em see you sweat" role that I am playing, I got all fancied up for the Mary Kay Spring Fling Fashion Show this week. Pretty sure I hadn't had all my meds the day I agreed to do this, but it was fun and it got me out of the office one night this week and home early enough to see my girls and put them to bed. And how could I resist when Melissa May called and said, "Heather, would you PLEASE be my model - we need women of all shapes and sizes..." now if that doesn't lure you in what would???
The full figured girls MUST be represented! So I go to Chico's for the outfit selection... I thought I could choose something that I might actually where before I was 50 years old... but that was not the case... Chico's had decided what I was going to wear the minute I walked into the door... they were probably punishing me because I had M&A with me and it was a Friday afternoon
I am referring to the first outfit as Tutankhamen meets the Housewives of St. Tammany parish.... I'm sure there were more copper nailheads in my top than in any headpiece King Tut every wore...oh, and the belt just screams "I like to spend my husband's money"....
BUT, wait... the experience gets better....Chico's is CONVINCED that I am wearing this dress. I try it on and it is VERY low cut and I casually mention that it would look better on a more well endowed women.... And to my surprise, I am promptly told that this is THE DRESS for flat chested women... So now I'm in the show representing the FLAT CHESTED FULL FIGURED GIRLS (kind of ironic...)
Back to the grind.... And please don't remind me that we only have 14 days left - that sends me into an absolute panic!