The post-op report...

Note: For your convenience, there will be no pictures during this post...

6 days ago (Tuesday at 8am to be exact), I paid someone (a highly esteemed plastic surgeon) to cut me apart from hip to hip, pull my stomach as tight as can be, and sew it back together. I also paid him to pulverize the fat in my hips and thighs and suck it through some disgusting apparatus - leaving the entire middle of my body bludgeoned and bruised. And I remind you once again - I actually paid dearly for this treatment...

For the first two days I stayed religiously on pain medicine while unable to consume any food for fear or vomiting. On the third day, mom and husband played hardball and told me no more drugs until I had nourishment. So on the third day, I started to singlehandedly support the local Smoothie King. And the drugs were administered. Also, on the second day - against my will, I was forced to walk around - with the help of a walker to help diminish the excruciating pain ripping through my torso (remember - I asked for this).

I have made it to Saturday, day six of this glorious journey - I am happy to report, that I am walker free, I'm moving around pretty quickly, and both girls have actually cuddled on my lap. I dressed and went to a neighborhood birthday party today.

If you know me at all - you will understand the difference between my recovery timeline and the doctor's. My doctor told me that most patients are back to a normal schedule in three weeks. He said that some of his younger, more active patients are back in two weeks. I took that info and decided I would be back to normal after one week. The eternal optimist right?

As I get closer to the one week mark, I am more realistic about the recovery. I know that I won't be at the mall at the end of week two buying an entire new wardrobe, because I will still be swollen and bruised, but I probably will be back at work. And today, when I wanted to stick my head in the pillow and cry due to the pain, I didn't - because I asked for this - so I better save the tears for something out of my control. I have severe feelings of guilt for making my wonderful husband bear all of the responsibilities around here - all in the sake of vanity. When I glance in the mirror, I can see that the outcome will probably be awesome - but the jury is still out if the war was worth the battle. I'll keep you posted...

And for once - I'm trying NOT to laugh out loud - because it HURTS too much, so find something to laugh about for me!