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Wednesday, May 30, 2012

The show must go on...

I started this post over a week ago, and I actually had to consult my therapist about it...So I will be charging each of you a user fee so that I can pay for the therapy session...

See, my life is getting back to "normal"...grocery shopping, working a few days a week, hanging out with the girls, going on dates with Ironman, scrapbooking with friends...normal stuff...stuff I didn't do for the last 18 months during cancer...and I don't think about cancer anymore...I don't live it daily, and I don't feel the need to blog about it either...But here's the problem (and I only realized this with the help of my therapist...)...if I admitted that I was moving on and getting back to normal, I was somehow cursing myself, somehow daring cancer to come back...so she came up with a very important word...hiatus...I'm putting cancer on hiatus...

I'm ready to close the book, although I'm fully aware that I might have to re-read the book, and I know deep down that there may even be a sequel... But for now I'm ready to put Cancer in a box and store it on a shelf.  I don't feel like I need to talk about it, or think about it or write about it.  If someone asks me about it, I can talk about it, but I think the blog posts about cancer are over.  It's time for me to just get back to normal.  So my blog posts will resume their original content of scrapbooking layouts, pictures of my children, stream of consciousness thinking on senseless topics and other random dribble...I imagine most of you will tune out at this point, but I really appreciate your support through the cancer part...Before I totally lose you, I will share the two most important lessons I learned during cancer....Call it a farewell gift...

The first....Particularly when you find out you have Stage 4 Lymphoma on the day of your little girl's 6th birthday party.....you realize the show must go on....

Crap happens...all kinds of crap...whether it's cancer, or hurricanes or divorce or a bad hair day...You figure out a plan, you make the best of it, and you deal with it...and some days suck...but some days don't and eventually the good days outweigh the bad and you start laughing again...

The second...live well...see cancer doesn't really "go away"...I mean there is that word remission, but chemo, the necessary poison that kept you alive, was in fact poison...so it will remind you that it infiltrated your body...and the cancer will also remind you that it visited...but living in fear isn't living...so I choose to forget it...Living well is the ultimate revenge...

so I'm going to get real busy being happy and NORMAL because...the show must go on and I'm ready to live well!


Please stop by again soon.  Since I've put cancer on hiatus, I think I will blog more often.  I was really struggling with blogging in this "normal" life.  Thanks for hanging with me and keep laughing...

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Heather, I love you! I hope when I grow up I'm half the woman you are! May God continue to bless you and your family. Happy scrappin!!!

Marianna said...

Awesome! Awesome!

Becca said...

I Love You and think you're sooooo amazing! You have kicked such serious ass and I'm so happy you're putting cancer on hiatus. May it be forgotten on that shelf.

xoxo,
Becca

Angel said...

My precious friend, I love you dearly and I'm just so damn proud of you!!!! You have always worn that cape but now, WOW, just WOW!!! You truly are an inspiration, LOL, as much as you don't wanna hear it, shuck the modesty and accept it. XOXO

Kristen said...

I think "normal" is a great idea - and I love the thought of checking in to hear all about "normal" life!

The Johnson 5 said...

words I live by......some days suck and some days don't.....I'm thankful for both but thrive on the ones that don't.

Normal is whatever we make of it my friend and I'm so glad you are getting back to it, you guys deserve it :)

Jenn said...

Yay for you! I'll definitely stop by often to see scrapbook layouts (and dream that I could do that one day!) and pics of your cute kiddos!

Shannon said...

Can't wait to see all the beautiful scrapbook layouts that you make with those beautiful children in them...and I will still stop by because you make me "laugh"!!!

Hope that cancer stays on hiatus!

Ann said...

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this blog - it's your best one!!!!!!

Cindy said...

I've been "stalking" your blog for a couple of years now. You make me laugh and yes, cry, but mostly laugh. I can't wait til you 'get back to normal', but please know that you have been in my thoughts and prayers. I have 'checked in' on you every week almost and have missed your stories. Good, bad, and hilarious. May God continue to bless your journey through life - and your blog...