Well it's a Pillow Pet, Silly...

So Ironman took the girls to Best Buy this weekend to buy some anti-virus software and what did they come home with??  Why, a Pillow Pet naturally...so here is what I am wondering...when I think of the regular inventory of a Best Buy store...why does a Pillow Pet not seem to fit?

Music, DVD players, Computer games...yes...Pillow Pet...um...no...

But I have to say that I am thankful for the Pillow Pet...You see Morgan went to the doctor on Monday and was diagnosed with not only strep, but the flu too...ahhh...just what a cancer mom wants to hear...

So GiGi cancelled her piano and voice lessons and came home for nurse duty...first order of business??...send me to GiGi's house away from germs...well GiGi has those big luxurious pillows that most people like, but I on the other hand prefer an almost non-existent pillow...you know...the cheap "2 for $5" kind...I get a crick in my neck when I try to use the fancy pillows...but I look around and what do I see???  Avery's Pillow Pet....Come on...sing it with me.."It's a Pillow.  It's a Pet.  It's a Pillow Pet"...So me and the Pillow Pet slept at GiGi's house last night and took a four hour nap today...we're pretty tight now...

I'm at GiGi's again tonight, but I did go home for my own pillows...honestly...Avery wanted her Pillow Pet back...what's a girl to do???

Fruit...the way nature intended it...

COVERED in CHOCOLATE!!!

My ex-step-brother Jason and his wife Ami sent this awesome fruit bouquet!!  Don't act like you've never heard of an "ex-step-brother"...I mean really...my family tree coupled with Shane's goes a little Jerry Springer...but he's awesome...and since he lives in Colorado he sends me wonderful, "keep kicking ass" type emails - which I read with tears in my eyes and save in a special place for when I need to recharge my "kick- assedness"...don't doubt me - it's a word...

The fruit bouquet people have finally shown me how to keep a cut banana from browning...hello...dip it in chocolate...voila...totally preserved!!  Now why didn't I thinik of that before??  And i'm not talking about a single dunk, we are talking triple dunked chocolate - sorry if your mouth is watering...I would share, but the girls have become pretty territorial about the fruit...

I'm having fun with a new photo site called Picnik.  I love the "polariod picture" style...but not as much as I love the fruit!!!  I'm feeling a little burst of creative energy - so I have to run up to the scrap room and get started before I fall asleep instead!!!  Thanks Jay and Ami - I miss you!!

The week is looking up...

The #2 man in my life is Dr. Spell...Yesterday he gave me new antibiotics, new nausea meds, new steroids and new cough syrup...the bag of tricks is empty!!  But I was able to get a break from the coughing last night and I slept most of the day.  Life is good!!

Hopefully by the 5th chemo on Feb 28, I'll be back to full fighting mode!  I know my last post was very honest - painfully so, but I realized that I needed each and every one of your comments, Facebook posts and emails.  I was constantly reminded that I'm not in this fight alone - and being surrounded with love - from far and near is essential right now.  It makes each hour a little easier.

Look at my strong girls at the Kids Race for the New Orleans marathon...They were all about the medals!!!

The girls can't wait until I can register for the race too!  They are ready for all four of us to do a race as a family.  They don't know just how happy that will make me!

Chemo #4

Chemo #4 is nothing like Mambo #5 – remember that song? And I assure I can top the worst college freshman hell week story…Chemo SUCKS!!!! If you were hoping to read a funny light satirical take on chemo today…sorry...wrong place… find a sweet polite blog…this one is going to explore the dark forbidden secret world of reality chemo…

First, nausea…as in violent, can’t eat anything… no appetite… nausea…so I have lived on Emend, Zofran and Phenergan since last Monday …which is ok because the Phenergan puts me to sleep and I can snooze through some of the misery…but naturally I am taking 100mg of steroid everyday which means the inside temperature of my house is kept at 64 degrees with the window open and I’m still sweating…ahh steroid sweats…so I fall asleep with the Phenergan only to wake to drenched nightclothes…I mean soaked to the core and then I’m freezing from being wet, so I get in a hot tub of water to warm my bones, but I can’t stay in too long or I will get nauseous from the warm water…

What little I have been able to choke down this week tastes like cardboard with a side of metal…yep that metallic taste moved in this week…and every drink from iced tea to coke zero tastes like battery acid in my mouth and I really can’t drink too much water because it’s too “light” and doesn’t stay in the intended area of my stomach, instead it makes a return visit…

Migraines have moved back in…the dull ache sitting behind my eyes…and my mouth has erupted in sores once again…unfortunately the one on my lip has scared off Morgan and Avery and even if I wanted to smile, I couldn’t, for risk of cracked and bleeding lips…My skin is paper thin so I have to be careful even opening my medicine bottles

I feel like I have been ovulating for 7 days…and to the female instinct this can only mean that this was the last viable egg left unharmed by chemo…my body telling me, “this is your last chance”…I envision the rest of my eggs as a rock garden devoid of any possible human existence…none of this is based on science but only on maternal emotions...and I'm sure the male readers are running for the hills about now!!

Unrelated to chemo, I am suffering with an emphysema type cough, which when erupts, makes my entire body ache…as a cautious measure, I am taking 2 Augmentin pills each day. The bottle and pill read “875 – 125mg”, so I’m not sure if they are 875 mg or 125 mg, but I assure you that the next pill I’ll be taking is Diflucan…the women readers will be able to relate…

I really miss Shane and the girls…they have been treading very quietly this week…careful not to disturb Mommy…but I am really in withdrawal of my family…next week I will find out how many more chemo treatments I will need…I am focused on just two more sessions…the girls are too…they are determined that Mommy’s hair will start to grow back before school lets out for the summer…I can’t disappoint my girls…

Now…for the reveal…Avery took this picture of me on November 8, 2010 – just two weeks before being diagnosed with cancer…

And today…here is my face ravaged by chemo…the medicine I desperately need to keep me alive…

Thankfully some friends have stepped in to help make the girls feel extra special this Valentine's Day.  I'll post some of those pictures next time.  I missed by doctor's appt this morning because I was too nauseous to get out of bed.  So off to see Dr. Spell in the morning...

Weekend Wrap Up and the Monday Morning Blues...

We had such a great time at Arbor Oaks in Lake Charles.  Ashley and I actually completed our Christmas Card Albums (yes, non-scrapbooker sister Ashley)...most of us made a Book Wreath...tons of layouts and cards were completed...good time was had by all....

Except for the little present I brought home...a cough and fever...damn it...you leave the bubble for a few days and it bites you in the arse!  Last night fever spiked at 102.1...not much sleeping happened...just aches and fever...

So today is Chemo Day...luckily no "interesting" waiting room convos...just one loud talker who was VERY proud of her children and grandchildren (even Ironman said, "I can't even block her out to read"...and Ironman can block anything out!)  So we go in to see Dr. Spell.  I'm definitely fighting something  - probably a virus b/c my WBC dropped two points from the Rockstar numbers last week.  He considers delaying my chemo a few days...but then drops this line..."Our goal here is to save your life, so I'd prefer to keep chemo on schedule"....What reverberates through my head in slow motion all day?  "s a v e   y o u r   l i f e"...these are the doses of reality that I choose to ignore...so we move ahead with chemo...and Spell ends our little visit with "I'm just showing you how tough you can be"...good times...this week should be a blast!...

now just for fun, I'm going to show you a few scrumptious things that I have found on the Internet lately...no post is complete without a picture!!

have a laughter filled week!!!  PS - in case you love any of these, I found all of them at Patina Stores...

The Week In Review...

and it's only Wednesday...never a good sign when enough has happened already that by Wednesday I can do a recap...

Start with the weekly Monday morning doctor appointment...Sitting in the waiting room of the oncologist's office where the median age is 60ish...and a woman (used loosely) about my age is talking VERY LOUDLY to the man BEHIND her.  Not the older man that she is accompanying to the doctor's office...and you know this kind of woman...the one who thinks her conversation is SO interesting that everyone wants to hear it so she speaks loudly...

The first thing I hear fly out of her mouth is, "Yeah, my husband says I'm bi".  My head jerks up...She continues with, "I mean I don't have any problems with lesbians"...I concentrate REALLY hard on my magazine trying to drown her out...I mean I had the new Southern Living, that's good reading...even chatting with the sweet man in the chair next to me... you know...on the benign topic of the weather nonetheless...

But oh know...my concentration looses focus when I hear, "I mean every girl - whether they admit it or not - has kissed a girl"...I do that head spin around thing like in cartoons mostly to see if anyone else is hearing the same conversation I am...but everyone looks tired, in pain, or hasn't fixed his hearing aid yet...so looks like I'm the only one...

Once I'm called back, we all have a good laugh about the waiting room conversation and the good news...All my blood counts are UP!!!  Whoop Whoop!!!  Little dancing...Ok, Spell doesn't dance and I really only dance in my head...but it FEELS like I'm dancing!!

And I have BIG plans for Tuesday...going into the office...getting things set up for tax season...checking a few returns...but Cancer had a different plan...it's pretty strong willed you know!

I didn't sleep at all Monday night...just achy, stomach and foot cramps...but I was still determined to be a productive person on Tuesday, so I got up with the girls, made breakfast, made my coffee and all of a sudden I got the chills...like I said to Ironman - deep down bone cold...took my temp and it was 101.6...now in cancerland anything over 100.5 requires an immediate call to the doctor...so what does Ironman do?  put me in bed... put the girls on the bus and called the doctor...here we go again...

I am FREEZING and the thought of changing my clothes is frightening...and I didn't have anything clean and then I realize I slept in my clothes from Monday...so day two at the doctor in the same clothes - NICE!!!  at least I brushed my teeth and put on fresh deodorant...

Shane has a meeting at work, so Ash takes over the chemo-chair side care...I get an IV of antibiotics and fluids, they culture my blood from two different sites and after 4 hours we head home...Now...here is where Shane gets canonized for Sainthood...but not before mentioning that my wallet wasn't in my purse so scrounging at the bottom of our purses Ashley and I managed a total of NINE CENTS...not even enough for a cold drink... of course we posted this on Facebook and the comments made us laugh all day...

Back to Canonization...Feeling like a rockstar on Monday...I had promised the drama queens that they could get their hair cut on Tuesday after school...and they DON'T FORGET and they DON'T CARE that Mommy is sick...so Ironman after getting home late from work and starving, loads them into the car for haircuts.  You don't need to ask why I love this man...but I do often wonder why he loves me?!?

So here are two very happy haircut girls (in normal "pose" position)...

and this afternoon...more good news...the blood culture gave no sign of infection...so I am going to Lake Charles tomorrow - the weather can't stop me!!!!  Scrapbooking weekend with the girls...and this time I have the dates correct!!  Oh, I can't wait for this weekend of laughs!!!

The Question and Answer Session

QUESTION FROM KRISSY: I want to hear more about the Dirty Santa Party. I attended a school mom's Christmas night out last year and thought I might give you a bit of a chuckle regarding my white elephant gift. I happened upon a pair of frosty the snowman boxer shorts at kmart, of all places. The eyes of coal and large, quite droopy, elongated carrot nose are strategically placed on the front of the shorts....you get the idea. Unknown to me, my hubby saw the wrapped gift at the door and decided to be mr. funny man. He taped a written prescription, from an old prescription pad on the bottom of the box. It read: nightly fellatio (did I spell that right...i am turning red as a frickin beet while typing that word) as needed, Doctor's orders. The prudish mom who got my gift was a bit taken aback. The worst part is that everyone else showed up with a real gift like stationary, chocolate or a plant. I'm sure i came off looking like a big ho. Maybe it was just a secret santa party and not a white elephant party....how did I miss that tidbit of information.

ANSWER: See Krissy – this is why we are still friends...we have the same warped sense of humor… Our friends host a “Dirty Dirty Santa” party each year. Everyone brings a “dirty” gift (rude and tasteless and completely devoid of any practical use). Then the swapping begins. #1 chooses a gift from under the tree…#2 chooses a gift from under the tree or steals a previous gift…I think the gifts are best “explained” through a pictorial…

This year a doctor included in his gift a sample to Viagra…let’s just say….it was a HOT ITEM!

QUESTION FROM DEBORAH Z: I have been reading your blog, and have talked my husband into taking me to the Habitat for Humanity Store near Elysian Fields in New Orleans the next time I go to New Orleans to my doctor. My doctor is located on Magazine Street. I am looking for an old window with about six panes to hang on a wall. I plan to scrapbook each pane. Do you know of any other flea market type stores in that area in New Orleans I could browse through? I plan to take the day off work.

ANSWER: LOVE the Habitat store!!! And what a good man to take you there!!  You will have dozens of window choices. Make sure to check out the art section inside near the back. Another favorite is River Road Flea Market (http://www.riverroadfleamarket.com/) – I always find at least one “treasure”!! If you have time, stop at Jefferson Flea Market. It is FILLED with small items – dishes, collectibles, junk… (http://neworleans.citysearch.com/profile/36520344/kenner_la/jefferson_flea_market_llc.html)

Here are a few treasures that I have found/made with items from the Habitat store (with the help of my handyman boyfriend Kevin)...

the $5 mailbox:

a window screen turned into a memory board:

this frame was made by layering two pieces of trim wood found in the outside yard:

Enjoy! And be sure to show me your “treasures”!!

QUESTION FROM DAWN H AND MARSELL: Must an employer issue a 1099 regardless of how low the income? Say, $200? Thx!

I have a (former) client who refuses to send me a 1099, as they're no longer in business. Isn't he legally obligated to do so? And if he doesn't, do I create one on his behalf - or just track the income and not worry about it?  Hey, you said tax questions were okay. ;-)

ANSWER:  And they are perfectly OK – so here’s the deal. If you earn $600 or more, you SHOULD receive a 1099. A business is required to issue 1099’s to individual contractors earning more than $600. For example if Bellanger &McQuiddy hires a CPA to do tax returns and he reports income under his Social Security number (not a business name) and he earns over $600 – we need to send him a 1099. But we don’t have to send a 1099 to the guy who cuts the grass because his business is incorporated and he reports income under a business tax ID number.

Jason – you don’t have to create any kind of 1099, just report the income. Here’s the part my clients don’t like…Even if you don’t receive a 1099, you are required to report all income received…the choice is yours (since you aren't my client)…


QUESTION FROM ANONYMOUS: Who's your favorite sister? Just asking.

Are you kidding?? I don’t like either of them – clearly you haven’t met them!! BUT, they are my sisters, therefore I LOVE each of them equally yet for different reasons…

Ashley (in alphabetical order) is nutty about saving Coke Rewards for me…she never misses a day of work…she visits me at chemo every time WITH sonic drinks…she remembers where I “stack” work stuff…she generally keeps track of my day to day activities when I can’t remember…How could I not love that??

Jen calls me randomly with funny stories and makes me laugh like a buffoon, she owns every kitchen gadget/appliance ever made – and one day that may come in handy…she makes really yummy desserts…and she stays away from the minute details of my life...thankfully because I don't need two personal assistants...LOVE!


QUESTION FROM ANN:  I want a new nickname for you. "Cancer Girl" Defines you with the disease and is negative energy and thoughts. Healthy Heather, Mighty Mom, Woman Warrior, Iron Woman just a few suggestions. You are much more creative than me. Love you my friend.

ANSWER: Negativity be gone!!  I’m all for a more positive nickname – I’m usually self-deprecating with my “humor” – term used loosely. Votes anyone?? More Suggestions??


QUESTION FROM DAWN H:  I am SO THANKFUL for the close-ups of Pioneer Woman's cowboy hubby in chaps. His Wrangler-covered backside is the stuff that dreams are made of. If only there were some way to get poster-size prints made and hang them around the house without making my own hubby jealous, or causing my kids to wonder what is wrong with Mommy...

Which leads to my question for you, Miss Heather... what part of a man's physique interests you the most?

Clearly from this picture – you can see that I love Ironman for his sense of style!!! Actually... I like a good butt. And thankfully the girls were blessed with his booty rather than my pancake flat butt!


QUESTION FROM DONNA B: Can't wait to see the Q & A's. I'll start. What is your absolute favorite treat?
ANSWER: Oh, I have so many favorite treats!!! The non-edible kind…scrapbook goodies and belly laughing and falling asleep holding either Morgan or Avery’s hand…edible…sushi, doberge cake, Grecian sauce with pita bread, good king cake, banana bread, raw oysters, oh, I could go on…the picture of this king cake is making want to get in the car and drive to NOLA for a colorful sugary bit of heaven!!!

QUESTION FROM DONNA B: How are your sweet angels handling your illness/treatment?



ANSWER: Morgan is a little me – therefore she worries, blows everything out of proportion and gets stress migraines…so Mommy’s cancer is probably harder on her…She always asks me to keep my cap on…she is quite obsessed with the hair loss

Avery is our happy go lucky carefree child…that’s not to say that she hasn’t cried at school because her “Mommy is sick” or she hasn’t crawled up on my lap and cried – they both have. And both of them are especially sensitive during a week when I’m feeling rotten. They definitely feel the void. And knowing that they are affected pushes me to get out of bed and give them as much attention as possible. Lately, the girls take turns going to sleep with me in my bed. This is a new practice – post cancer…but it’s a very special time for me, because somehow in the dark alone with Mommy is when the talking starts… I hear about if they were sad during the day, of if they are upset because I have spent a week in bed… and most precious to me, each one falls asleep holding my hand…sometimes I drift off to sleep with happy tears running down my face knowing that I got that precious time with my babies…

QUESTION FROM "THE GIRLFRIEND:  oh where do I begin?????? This could be fun! So my question is; Does Ironman have the same secret love for me as I have for him???

ANSWER: Yes Melanie, he does…In fact…many times during the night I hear him mumbling “Oh Sweet Melanie, please cook me some deer meat”

QUESTION FROM DAWN H: Not only do I not know your political leanings but, more importantly, I don't know if you like jello. (I don't, just in case you ever want to give me a dessert. Cheesecake yes, jello no.)

ANSWER:  Dawn, I vote republican – but let me explain my political savvy can me summed up in a nailhead…unless it of course involves tax legislation, and then I am forced to pay attention…a hazard of the job..Unfortunately I don’t watch the news or read the newspaper, luckily, my friends on Facebook keep me pretty well updated on current events…Chilean Miners – yep Facebook updates, the shooting in Arizona – check…The latest celebrity breakups…done…Now if I could find a friend who regularly posted TAX LEGISLATION updates, I would be set…anyone? Anyone??

And just because 3 years ago we brought the movie “Nalin Palin” as our Dirty Dirty Santa party gift, that meant no disrespect to the Republican party…or women for that matter…it was about bringing the BEST GIFT!!

Jello?? It’s OK… as long as it doesn’t have mystery fruit or marshmallows in it and I prefer orange jello with whipped topping – emphasis on the whipped topping…hospital style…but I do prefer Cheesecake, Doberge Cake, King Cake and Chocolate Chip Cookie Squares…all with whipped topping…see picture of king cake above...

So that about sums up the very first (and probably last) Q & A session...unless of course these answers disturbed you and have prompted new questions...Hope you have a great day!