Chemo #4

Chemo #4 is nothing like Mambo #5 – remember that song? And I assure I can top the worst college freshman hell week story…Chemo SUCKS!!!! If you were hoping to read a funny light satirical take on chemo today…sorry...wrong place… find a sweet polite blog…this one is going to explore the dark forbidden secret world of reality chemo…

First, nausea…as in violent, can’t eat anything… no appetite… nausea…so I have lived on Emend, Zofran and Phenergan since last Monday …which is ok because the Phenergan puts me to sleep and I can snooze through some of the misery…but naturally I am taking 100mg of steroid everyday which means the inside temperature of my house is kept at 64 degrees with the window open and I’m still sweating…ahh steroid sweats…so I fall asleep with the Phenergan only to wake to drenched nightclothes…I mean soaked to the core and then I’m freezing from being wet, so I get in a hot tub of water to warm my bones, but I can’t stay in too long or I will get nauseous from the warm water…

What little I have been able to choke down this week tastes like cardboard with a side of metal…yep that metallic taste moved in this week…and every drink from iced tea to coke zero tastes like battery acid in my mouth and I really can’t drink too much water because it’s too “light” and doesn’t stay in the intended area of my stomach, instead it makes a return visit…

Migraines have moved back in…the dull ache sitting behind my eyes…and my mouth has erupted in sores once again…unfortunately the one on my lip has scared off Morgan and Avery and even if I wanted to smile, I couldn’t, for risk of cracked and bleeding lips…My skin is paper thin so I have to be careful even opening my medicine bottles

I feel like I have been ovulating for 7 days…and to the female instinct this can only mean that this was the last viable egg left unharmed by chemo…my body telling me, “this is your last chance”…I envision the rest of my eggs as a rock garden devoid of any possible human existence…none of this is based on science but only on maternal emotions...and I'm sure the male readers are running for the hills about now!!

Unrelated to chemo, I am suffering with an emphysema type cough, which when erupts, makes my entire body ache…as a cautious measure, I am taking 2 Augmentin pills each day. The bottle and pill read “875 – 125mg”, so I’m not sure if they are 875 mg or 125 mg, but I assure you that the next pill I’ll be taking is Diflucan…the women readers will be able to relate…

I really miss Shane and the girls…they have been treading very quietly this week…careful not to disturb Mommy…but I am really in withdrawal of my family…next week I will find out how many more chemo treatments I will need…I am focused on just two more sessions…the girls are too…they are determined that Mommy’s hair will start to grow back before school lets out for the summer…I can’t disappoint my girls…

Now…for the reveal…Avery took this picture of me on November 8, 2010 – just two weeks before being diagnosed with cancer…

And today…here is my face ravaged by chemo…the medicine I desperately need to keep me alive…

Thankfully some friends have stepped in to help make the girls feel extra special this Valentine's Day.  I'll post some of those pictures next time.  I missed by doctor's appt this morning because I was too nauseous to get out of bed.  So off to see Dr. Spell in the morning...