And since I know at least one of the members of the Homecoming Court at Dutchtown High School tanned, got hair extensions, got faux nails, bought two dresses that probably cost more than my wedding dress...all for the Homecoming Game presentation...I can't even imagine what is spent on pageant preparation these days...
Seriously, my days of pretending I was Miss America walking down the "catwalk" ended in about 7th grade, if you could have seen that haircut....I mean, it was clear very early that I wasn't exactly pageant material...
But here's Miss Delaware...
with and without her wig... she doesn't have the "canca", she suffers from alopecia...but either way she has renewed the dreams of bald girls everywhere!!! So I Googled "Beauty Pageant Tips" in case I decide to enter the next pageant....
A more expensive wardrobe does not guarantee success. Good thing - because you know how I love a Goodwill shopping spree and fashion show!!
Brush up on grammatical skills and current events - NOW THIS IS JUST GOOD PRACTICAL ADVICE - EVERYONE START NOW!!
Practice. Practice. Practice your talent. If you have the chutzpah to bring out the puppets, make sure it's going to be a crowd pleaser....
During my research, I stumbled across a video from WGN9News in Illinois. If really interested, click HERE for the video. Now this was the kind of info I was looking for...
- slather your butt with Preparation H the night before the pageant, then wrap your butt in Saran Wrap...this shrinks cellulite and tightens skin...
- "It Stays" (aka BUTT GLUE) keeps your bathing suit in the correct place...
- Visine not only helps with Red Eyes, but red acne...
How many times do you think I would have to slather myself with Preparation H and Saran Wrap before I look like this...(17 year old Miss America 2011 Teresa Scanlan)
I didn't find this tip specifically listed, although it was pictured over and over again...Always thank GOD...
I'm sure you're thanking me for these helpful tips - please feel free to pass this heavily researched info on to any pageant contestants...For now, I've decided that my beauty pageant dreams will once again be put on hold...since no one offered a solution for "deflating your body from steroid puffiness"...I"ll spare the judges for now...
And one last thing...Don't ever forget the competitive spirit!!
4 comments:
I'm laughing that you would be MRS. Ascension Parish, not MISS, probably the first indicator that we've passed our prime! You have, however, given me hope b/c at 5'0", a modeling career was never an option...I'm just telling myself that it's all b/c I'm short and not for other reasons!!!
I've been inspired by you to enter a pageant. Now all I have to do is find one for fashion-challenged, Walmart-clothes-wearing, no-makeup, non-bikini-wearing ladies with flat chests and big tushies. :)
Ahhhh so preparation H, visine, & tape make the magic formula!!! Nahhhh, I'll never go for that crap :-)
Don't mean to burst your bubble, but (or butt) Prep H has taken out the ingredient that shrinks. I was watching/listening to a beauty hint segment the other day and this astounding detail was revealed. It no longer is a beauty tip to apply Prep H under your eyes to shrink bags and swelling. Waaaaaaa
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