Bacterial Meningitis? sure, I'll try it...

So if cancer couldn't kill me, can Bacterial Meningitis??

On Wednesday, I started to feel nauseous and i felt feverish. Same thing on Thursday, along with a migraine. Friday and Saturday, same, same. By Sunday the migraine pain was completely unbearable and my neck was really stiff.  Off the ER Ashley and I went...

11 hours and a spinal tap later, I bought myself Bacterial Meningitis and probably a 4 day stay at OLOL. 

I was concerned after the doctor explained how Bacterial Meningitis is potentially much worse than Viral, but no one prepared me for Quarantine.

I am enclosed behind an extra set of massive heavy doors and all medical staff wear masks, gloves and disposable smocks upon entry - I lost if for a few minutes last night when I saw the nurse, but I'm handling it much better today.

My room package includes Internet and movies...what more could a girl want?

I'm more upset that the school counselor called today because Morgan was upset at school.  Luckily Shane met her for lunch and eased some of her anxiety.

Some days we sure get more than we bargained for...

I'll keep you posted...

Senior Care

Ironman subscribes to the Business Report magazine in Baton Rouge. Recently he brought home the Books of Lists issue and I was reading the "40 Under 40" article... all of a sudden it hit me that my time is running out to make the list. Turning 37 this year only leaves me 3 years to achieve this feat...

Wait a minute...Did I really just think that??? who am I kidding?? The people on this list are motivated, hard working and extremely successful...I, on the other hand, was all of those things in my twenties...but my thirties....well those little girls came along...and that damn cancer hit...and now I'm just lucky to have clean underwear!

So as I re-examine my place in life, I find myself here....

Imagine my surprise when my newest doctor is located in the "Lake Senior Care Center"...My new doctor is actually a Rheumatologist, but isn't it funny how that is in little print at the bottom of the sign...

Do you know they even give out magnets so that old people can locate the phone number easily...oh don't worry, I have one...

So the pain I have been having has a name which makes me feel much better...It's always nice to have a professional confirm that you aren't making it up...it's called Erythema Nodosum...I didn't say it was easy to pronounce, but it exists...

I'll call it EN for short.  See EN can be an indicator of a ton of things from strep throat to a systemic disease (like Lymphoma).  The Rheumatologist ruled out through blood work Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis and a host of other things I probably wouldn't remember even if she had told me....She was kind and told me with a reassuring smile, "Maybe this is an isolated event and it won't happen again".  She drinks the Koolaid...

EN is back in full force and I won't bore you with the details, but when I need assistance getting out of a chair, you'll know why...

So for now I wait....I see the oncologist on Monday for my "in between PET scan" checkup and I'm not sure if the EN combined with the glowing bone marrow is a cause for concern...I mean it concerns me, but I'm an accountant whose medical knowledge ends with bandaids...so I'll just wait and see what he says....

oh, and you should have heard how loud I laughed when I saw the Senior Care sign!

I'm here...

My laptop was shipped off to Dell...so I'm not blogging...but I'm still here...making lists of fantastic blog post ideas...not really...

I did start a post last week, but then I had to surrender the laptop...and since I work sporadically already, I really try to focus when I'm actually at the office...

Ashley won't be too happy when she realizes I was blogging at work...oh hell...Bama won the National Championship...she doesn't care what I'm doing!

be back soon... Keep on laughing!

Mini Tree

For two or three years I have been collecting ornaments for a "vintage" style tree...ornaments with mercury glass, glass glitter, old book paper, all in silver and cream or white...a very neutral palatte...

And one day when I had "enough" ornaments or when the girls were "older", I planned to decorate an entire tree this way...then all of a sudden last week - it kind of hit me...I'm not exactly winning the "Most Likely to Succeed to Next Christmas" race...I don't mean this in a doom and gloom sort of way, but I have a few more losses than wins than other people...

So at 9pm last Friday, I ran into Walmart (and when I say "ran", I mean hobbled in an arthritic state) and bought a cute little 3 foot tree...and both of my girls LOVE the little tree...they aren't at all impressed with my beautiful ornament collection, but they love the littleness...they've already asked for "little trees" for their rooms next year...I've created a monster...but a good monster, because I can't really see how a bunch of little pre-lit trees are bad...

and this little tree just reminds me to read "just one more book mommy", play one more game of Cranium, and give a few more kisses...because the laundry can wait, we can eat on paper plates, and the kitchen counters will ALWAYS be messy...but everyone is in charge of making their own happy life...and that's something that shouldn't be put off until tomorrow...

 and this little tree makes me really happy...

Happy New Year...I hope you laugh out loud everyday this year!

Week in Review

I'm a clear nail polish kinda' girl...Sometimes I live on the wild side and choose "Coney Island Cotton Candy" by OPI...but it NEVER fails at this time of year, I see women with really festive nails - red nails, glittery nails, that really cool dark nail polish...so, of course, EVERY YEAR I go a little crazy and try a festive color...and every year I look like a HOOKER...

The same goes for Bloody Marys...I like all of the ingredients of a Bloody Mary and I LOVE the idea of the cool Tabasco green beans and celery sticking out of the glass..but EVERY TIME I taste one, I throw up a little...I really don't understand how they look so good and taste so gross...

Avery was in the first grade Christmas play this week...Skunks in a Christmas play??...Now that's funny stuff!

Have you ever reached into the dryer and the clothes feel "dry enough"...usually I experience this with jeans - where the pockets and crotch are just a little moist...and it's gross...Today I experienced a new level of moisture...I thought my bra was "dry enough"...a damp bra against the "girls" beats moist jeans hands down...

And just when I thought my moist bra was a problem, I talked to a friend whose underwire had come out of one side of her bra on her drive to work...How loud do you think I laughed when I visualized one droopy boob next to one perky boob (and by "perky", I mean "less droopy")...she won - because one droopy boob trumps moist boobs any day...

I'm "enjoying" the holidays alcohol free...and although I was never a big drinker, some commitments are enhanced by a little wine...or Jack Daniels...straight...but alcohol plus residual cancer drugs equals an immediate return of chemo nauseau...and since I'm out of Phenergan, I'm stepping away from that cocktail...Damn...I have the entire Skinnygirl collection collecting dust on my countertop...

So if you're looking for a cocktail, feel free to stop by my house, but you'll have to drink alone...and I will laugh when you start slurring your words...Happy Holidays!

just 5 things...

1. Since it's 80 degrees with 1,000% humidity today, I turned the air conditioner down to 68 until my toes froze and then made hot chocolate...that's how we "create" Christmas here in Louisiana...

2. My PET scan results are in, and I am still cancer free.  I have started to sleep again unaided by sleeping pills...mostly...let's not go totally crazy...

3. Since Coco the Chihuahua entered our lives, the bickering in our house has quadrupled...The girls now fight over who can feed Coco, hold Coco, look at Coco, hug Coco, pick up Coco's shit...

One day this week I found myself yelling, "You two are fighting over SHIT!"  When the girls IN FACT realized they were fighting over who could touch dog poo, they felt pretty ridiculous.  But that has not stopped me from telling EACH ONE of their FRIENDS repeatedly...mom's SWEET revenge!!  oh, and I'm pretty sure Social Services will be arriving any minute, since I cursed at my children in the front yard...

4. I love my therapist...I especially love that since I pay her to listen to me, even when she disagrees with me, she makes it sounds like she's agreeing with me...I've only started seeing a therapist since the chemo debacle ended...weird how when in you're in the middle of it, you don't have time for the emotional crap (and when I say "you", I mean "me")...

5. I'm feeling guilty about how sweet my girls looked in their Christmas picture...I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think they look like that normally, because normally they look like "raggamuffins" (as my mom would say)...I mean it was a Christmas picture...of course, I made them brush their hair, brush their teeth and put on a dress...but please don't accuse me of doing that only a daily basis, I only strive for brushed teeth on a daily basis...

5a. I had Christmas lunch today at school.  Avery only ate the mystery turkey and the fruit (leaving the prized roll) but Morgan redeemed Avery by "loving the greasy bottom of the roll"...no DNA test required...that one's mine!!

Chronic illness...

I've kind of had the crash course of "living with cancer" over the last month.  I used to think that people got cancer, got chemo, got cured and lived happily ever after...

And I still hope that does happen, but I don't think it's the norm....

30 or 40 years ago Cancer was considered an Acute Illness - meaning rapid onset and short duration - the duration was short because it quickly ended in the pearly gates...Fast forward to today, and Cancer is now considered a Chronic Illness - ie - long lasting with relapses and periods of remission...

What the "What to Expect During Cancer" book doesn't mention is that even though the cancer might be gone, that same cancer could have caused a host of other problems - some lifelong...and that part sucks...bad...

Anyway, I am having a few issues right now, which if occurred individually would be nothing, but when you lump them all together they become "suspicious"...and we all know what "suspicious" means...the "suspicions" will either be confirmed or hopefully denied after my scans this week...too bad the five day waiting period is a test of patience...and deep breathing...and xanax...

If these issues aren't cancer, then I move to Plan B -and figure out what they are.  Starting with a rheumatology workup to determine if it's an auto-immune related disease...and I have no idea what any of that means and I don't intend to speculate...I learned a year ago...DON'T SPECULATE...

but what I know for sure is that cancer isn't an isolated thing, it doesn't live in a vacuum...once it takes hold, it makes sure to keep popping up...probably when you least expect it...and that doesn't make me laugh...not one bit...but other things do make me laugh, so I concentrate on those...

kind of like my sweet birthday girl Avery this week with her new tutu wearing dog Coco...

A tutu wearing dog...now that's funny stuff!!