Just a little spot...

That's what the neurologist said this morning when going over the results from my MRI.  Then followed up with, "It's nothing - don't worry about it".

Let's see - I seem to remember hearing those words before, and it didn't end very well...  I suggested to the neurologist that we maybe keep an eye on this "little spot" and retest at periodic intervals - but no, he said there was no need...

OK - maybe HE doesn't think there is a need, but it's MY brain here...and I also know how fast things go from Stage 1 to Stage 4...So what do I do?  Walk right out of the building and call Dr. Spell (my oncologist) and leave a blubbering idiot-like message directing him straight to the fax machine for my MRI results

I only cried for half of the 50 minutes until Dr. Spell called me - pretty good, I think...He agreed that the spot is "nothing" but suggested that we recheck the "little spot" periodically...See - that's what I'm talking about...I like some reassurance periodically

If it was up to me, I'd have daily PET scans and MRIs - just to check...helps me sleep ya' know...

I might need to change neurologists, maybe to one who understands my need to sleep at night...

water everywhere...

You've probably heard about the little Mississippi River flooding problem...well the water is heading South and is reaching some parts of Louisiana now and during the next two weeks...I took these pictures yesterday of the Bonnet Carre Spillway between Destrehan and LaPlace

There were police stationed at the area, and more than a few cars stopped to view the water...

In March when Shane did the Warrior Dash, the area below was the race site...as in NOT under water...

check out the TOPS of trees below...

look how close the water is to the road...Shane says normally this area is dry and dotted with picnic tables 

The water should reach it's peak on May 23

Many Louisiana residents are preparing for flooding.  My friend Anna Lisa's parents live in a specifically precarious area on a water bank...They have spent a week moving pictures and family heirlooms to safer, higher ground.

Side Note: One of Morgan's nicknames is "Morganza" and when people started talking about the opening of the Morganza Spillway, Morgan couldn't understand why all of the adults were talking about her...My Nervous Nelly...

I'll keep you posted on the rising water...and for all of the people affected by the flooding throughout the US...

A Dieter's Delight...

Chemo hair loss - no problem...Chemo weight gain....WAY more disturbing...See for me, hair is an accessory - I've dyed it red, highlighted it, chopped it off, grew it long, and now lost it completely...so to me, it's like wearing earrings or not...no biggie...

But gaining 40 pounds (45 after the Mother's Crawfish Boil, thank you very much), is a blow to me...a girl who has struggled with her weight all of her life.  Don't you just hate when you look back on pictures when you "thought you were overweight", and now just long to be that size again!!

So here I go again...sticking to a diet regime...passing up the Cane's chicken finger (and more importantly the sauce) and choosing the broccoli spear instead...

I'm not trying to sell you on this, people...I'm not quite sold myself...


I can totally admit that I'm a food whore...Given the choice of 2 ounces of my FAVORITE Cambozola Cheese at 200 calories (I discovered Cambozola 13 years ago on my honeymoon in Napa Valley, and, seriously, my life was forever altered) or 6 1/2 cups of salt-free, butter-free popcorn - give me the cardboard... I mean popcorn...I'm just a "more is more" kinda girl....
 
And this time, while I'm going all food healthy, I'm also keeping the "cancer diet" in mind.  No matter which one you look at, everyone suggests sticking with plant based foods vs. animal based foods.  So this week, I'm on the hunt for little changes - like instead of turkey on my Subway salad, a 1/2 cup of chick peas is about the same amount of calories and more filling...of course I have to actually remember to bring the chick peas to work FOR the salad....damn...that might be the hardest part...
 
Today I am armed with my chick peas, edamame, broccoli, 2 green teas and a Coke Zero- hey, I'm not perfect - this girls gotta have her "crack"
 
I'm also checking in with the One Weigh folks today for a little support on the "healthy eating" plan (I try not to say the word "diet" in front of the girls).  Oh...funny story...in a twisted sick way...
 
We were driving home on Monday, and I was talking to the nurse at my Gastroenterologist's office.  I told her that I would stop by and see her on Thursday when I was at the Digestive Health Center for the One Weigh meeting... and I mentioned the 40 pound weight gain...Later, when I attempted a walk around the block, Morgan, oh precious one, said, "Mommy, I bet it's hard to walk around the block since you gained 40 pounds..."
 
And just another reminder that your children HEAR and REMEMBER everything!!
 
I"ll keep you posted on my progress...see if I actually tell you that I'm trying...then the pressure is on...I can't just go all "Margarita and chips crazy"!!!
 
 

 

Tougher Morgan Questions...

A few nights ago, Morgan came out with this whopper...

"So Mommy, since everyone says I look like you, does that mean I'm going to get cancer too?"

oh boy...that was a tough one...but it didn't prepare me for last night's question...

"Mommy, I know people die from cancer...so when are you going to die?"

OK - I bit my lip to keep from crying and explained that not everyone dies from cancer...and I am one of the lucky ones...I also told her that I fought very hard because I didn't want she and Avery to grow up without a Mommy...

so sorry teachers, but the girls got a "Mommy day" today, because sometimes I try anything to make up for the fact that my seven year old is faced with such mature issues...

and so for today, I'll go with this bit of wisdom...

fortunately our day was filled with laughs - and tonight we are piling into my bed for a "girls only" slumber party!  hope your day was filled with laughter too!

Rainbows are Real...

As I was talking to Dr. Spell today, I asked him about my next Rituxan treatment in 6 months...And I was overwhelmed by his response (like about to hug him overwhelmed)...

I found out that Lo-Grade Lymphoma (which seems less frightening, but really is the incurable kind) requires maintenance Rituxan every 6 months for 2 years, but Aggressive Lymphoma (sounds worse, but it is actually curable) only requires two maintenance Rituxan treatments - Guess what kind I have???  Aggressive...which means I AM DONE!!!! For once, I've done something right - I have the RIGHT KIND of lymphoma!

NO MORE STEROIDS!!!  NO MORE FIVE HOUR TREATMENTS!!!  NO MORE MEDI-PORT!!!  I may finally sleep on my back again (without the use of sleeping pills)!  You think when the surgeon removes the medi-port he might like to try his hand at plastic surgery?!?

This makes the sweating, the discomfort from the needle hitting a nerve, the hand, leg and foot cramps that have already dropped me to the floor today, and the drop in White Blood count that might hit on Wednesday even more tolerable this week...I had to share the GOOD NEWS with everyone!

To a girl who gained 40 pounds during Chemo - this means a return to healthy eating WITHOUT the interruption of steroids every 6 months...give me a break - I'm still a girl who would prefer to fit in her old clothes rather than buy more plus sized ditties...

And I have the perfect sign...

 

I hope you had an awesome day too!

Doctor Dread...

oh, I thought these says were over...but not quite yet...tomorrow I get a dose of Rituxan - a FIVE hour dose...the Rituxan itself isn't bad, i'm just hoping the five day migraine doesn't follow like last time...

then Tuesday, I have an MRI to make sure the lymphoma hasn't spread to my brain...always a comforting thought...and even though my oncologist bets it hasn't, that's what everyone said a few months ago - and look what happened...

so I'll be putting on a brave face this week...for the girls...they can sense fear...they are like dogs that way...who knew dogs and children would have that same sixth sense...

I've been collecting cute sayings especially for days like this...I'll be reading them often...I hope you like them too...

 I think a visit to Rue Beignet on Highland is in order after this week :)

Morganisms...

You probably have heard me talk about how much I love lying with the girls as they drift off to sleep (I just looked up lying versus laying on Websters.com and I'm still not sure I used the correct one - why is that grammar lesson so hard to remember - ugh)...When it's my turn with Morgan, there is no telling what I will hear...The lights go out and that mouth starts talking!  I'm such an easy target - she knows she can stay up at least 30 extra minutes if she starts talking...I bet she doesn't pull the same stunt with Daddy...I know I'm a sucker, but I love the hear what is running around in the head of hers...Here are a few of our recent conversations...

Morgan: "Mommy, can your Daddy see us from Heaven?"
Me: "Yes"
Morgan: (with her arms extended toward the ceiling)  "Hello Mommy's Daddy.  I know you can hear me.  I really want to know what Heaven is like.  You can tell me anytime, I'm waiting..."

another night...
Morgan: "Mommy, can we see where your Daddy is buried?"
Me: "Sure Morgan, but he was buried in New Orleans in a Mausoleum, so we'll see it the next time we are in NOLA"
After I explain to Morgan what a Mausoleum is, she says... "You put your Daddy in a WALL???  You are so mean!"  Never mind that I was 12 when my dad died, and I didn't exactly buy the "real estate".  She doesn't quite get the concept - thank goodness he wasn't cremated - could you imagine that conversation??

another night...and I couldn't hide the laughter...
Morgan: "Mommy...Do you know that there are TWO ways that a baby can get milk?????  The bottle and... and...another way!!  That is disgusting!! Please tell me I got my milk from a bottle!!! It's so gross - why do Mommys do that - yuck!"
I tried to explain that when she becomes a Mommy she will decide which way to feed her baby, but I think her mind may be made up...I'd love to see the "Lactation Consultant" try to change that stubborn mind!

and yet another night...
Morgan: "Mommy - I know I GREW in your belly - but HOW did I GET there???"
So I totally copped out on this one - I told her that I needed to read a book and find out the best way to explain it to her.  She responded with: "You probably need to look it up in a book because you aren't very good at science"  SCORE!!!  She totally bought it - now hurry and send me any suggestions on how to explain the birds and bees to a 7 year old!

I'll keep you posted on the "best" of our pre-bed conversations...