Week in Review

I'm a clear nail polish kinda' girl...Sometimes I live on the wild side and choose "Coney Island Cotton Candy" by OPI...but it NEVER fails at this time of year, I see women with really festive nails - red nails, glittery nails, that really cool dark nail polish...so, of course, EVERY YEAR I go a little crazy and try a festive color...and every year I look like a HOOKER...

The same goes for Bloody Marys...I like all of the ingredients of a Bloody Mary and I LOVE the idea of the cool Tabasco green beans and celery sticking out of the glass..but EVERY TIME I taste one, I throw up a little...I really don't understand how they look so good and taste so gross...

Avery was in the first grade Christmas play this week...Skunks in a Christmas play??...Now that's funny stuff!

Have you ever reached into the dryer and the clothes feel "dry enough"...usually I experience this with jeans - where the pockets and crotch are just a little moist...and it's gross...Today I experienced a new level of moisture...I thought my bra was "dry enough"...a damp bra against the "girls" beats moist jeans hands down...

And just when I thought my moist bra was a problem, I talked to a friend whose underwire had come out of one side of her bra on her drive to work...How loud do you think I laughed when I visualized one droopy boob next to one perky boob (and by "perky", I mean "less droopy")...she won - because one droopy boob trumps moist boobs any day...

I'm "enjoying" the holidays alcohol free...and although I was never a big drinker, some commitments are enhanced by a little wine...or Jack Daniels...straight...but alcohol plus residual cancer drugs equals an immediate return of chemo nauseau...and since I'm out of Phenergan, I'm stepping away from that cocktail...Damn...I have the entire Skinnygirl collection collecting dust on my countertop...

So if you're looking for a cocktail, feel free to stop by my house, but you'll have to drink alone...and I will laugh when you start slurring your words...Happy Holidays!

just 5 things...

1. Since it's 80 degrees with 1,000% humidity today, I turned the air conditioner down to 68 until my toes froze and then made hot chocolate...that's how we "create" Christmas here in Louisiana...

2. My PET scan results are in, and I am still cancer free.  I have started to sleep again unaided by sleeping pills...mostly...let's not go totally crazy...

3. Since Coco the Chihuahua entered our lives, the bickering in our house has quadrupled...The girls now fight over who can feed Coco, hold Coco, look at Coco, hug Coco, pick up Coco's shit...

One day this week I found myself yelling, "You two are fighting over SHIT!"  When the girls IN FACT realized they were fighting over who could touch dog poo, they felt pretty ridiculous.  But that has not stopped me from telling EACH ONE of their FRIENDS repeatedly...mom's SWEET revenge!!  oh, and I'm pretty sure Social Services will be arriving any minute, since I cursed at my children in the front yard...

4. I love my therapist...I especially love that since I pay her to listen to me, even when she disagrees with me, she makes it sounds like she's agreeing with me...I've only started seeing a therapist since the chemo debacle ended...weird how when in you're in the middle of it, you don't have time for the emotional crap (and when I say "you", I mean "me")...

5. I'm feeling guilty about how sweet my girls looked in their Christmas picture...I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea and think they look like that normally, because normally they look like "raggamuffins" (as my mom would say)...I mean it was a Christmas picture...of course, I made them brush their hair, brush their teeth and put on a dress...but please don't accuse me of doing that only a daily basis, I only strive for brushed teeth on a daily basis...

5a. I had Christmas lunch today at school.  Avery only ate the mystery turkey and the fruit (leaving the prized roll) but Morgan redeemed Avery by "loving the greasy bottom of the roll"...no DNA test required...that one's mine!!

Chronic illness...

I've kind of had the crash course of "living with cancer" over the last month.  I used to think that people got cancer, got chemo, got cured and lived happily ever after...

And I still hope that does happen, but I don't think it's the norm....

30 or 40 years ago Cancer was considered an Acute Illness - meaning rapid onset and short duration - the duration was short because it quickly ended in the pearly gates...Fast forward to today, and Cancer is now considered a Chronic Illness - ie - long lasting with relapses and periods of remission...

What the "What to Expect During Cancer" book doesn't mention is that even though the cancer might be gone, that same cancer could have caused a host of other problems - some lifelong...and that part sucks...bad...

Anyway, I am having a few issues right now, which if occurred individually would be nothing, but when you lump them all together they become "suspicious"...and we all know what "suspicious" means...the "suspicions" will either be confirmed or hopefully denied after my scans this week...too bad the five day waiting period is a test of patience...and deep breathing...and xanax...

If these issues aren't cancer, then I move to Plan B -and figure out what they are.  Starting with a rheumatology workup to determine if it's an auto-immune related disease...and I have no idea what any of that means and I don't intend to speculate...I learned a year ago...DON'T SPECULATE...

but what I know for sure is that cancer isn't an isolated thing, it doesn't live in a vacuum...once it takes hold, it makes sure to keep popping up...probably when you least expect it...and that doesn't make me laugh...not one bit...but other things do make me laugh, so I concentrate on those...

kind of like my sweet birthday girl Avery this week with her new tutu wearing dog Coco...

A tutu wearing dog...now that's funny stuff!!

Scrappin'

I escaped last month to Pine Lily Retreat House.  I caught up on Law and Order reruns (seriously, you can always find one on...) and did some major scrappin' and laughing with good friends...

I get so much done when I'm with friends...it's just more fun to steal THEIR ribbon than use my own!!  and I was very thankful that Melanie brought the latest issue of Scrapbook Trends because I pretty much "borrowed" a piece of every layout.  I think each time I head out for a weekend retreat, I'll pick up the latest copy of Scrapbook Trends from now on...Why think when someone else can do it for you??

Hope you are laughing this weekend!