Morganisms...

You probably have heard me talk about how much I love lying with the girls as they drift off to sleep (I just looked up lying versus laying on Websters.com and I'm still not sure I used the correct one - why is that grammar lesson so hard to remember - ugh)...When it's my turn with Morgan, there is no telling what I will hear...The lights go out and that mouth starts talking!  I'm such an easy target - she knows she can stay up at least 30 extra minutes if she starts talking...I bet she doesn't pull the same stunt with Daddy...I know I'm a sucker, but I love the hear what is running around in the head of hers...Here are a few of our recent conversations...

Morgan: "Mommy, can your Daddy see us from Heaven?"
Me: "Yes"
Morgan: (with her arms extended toward the ceiling)  "Hello Mommy's Daddy.  I know you can hear me.  I really want to know what Heaven is like.  You can tell me anytime, I'm waiting..."

another night...
Morgan: "Mommy, can we see where your Daddy is buried?"
Me: "Sure Morgan, but he was buried in New Orleans in a Mausoleum, so we'll see it the next time we are in NOLA"
After I explain to Morgan what a Mausoleum is, she says... "You put your Daddy in a WALL???  You are so mean!"  Never mind that I was 12 when my dad died, and I didn't exactly buy the "real estate".  She doesn't quite get the concept - thank goodness he wasn't cremated - could you imagine that conversation??

another night...and I couldn't hide the laughter...
Morgan: "Mommy...Do you know that there are TWO ways that a baby can get milk?????  The bottle and... and...another way!!  That is disgusting!! Please tell me I got my milk from a bottle!!! It's so gross - why do Mommys do that - yuck!"
I tried to explain that when she becomes a Mommy she will decide which way to feed her baby, but I think her mind may be made up...I'd love to see the "Lactation Consultant" try to change that stubborn mind!

and yet another night...
Morgan: "Mommy - I know I GREW in your belly - but HOW did I GET there???"
So I totally copped out on this one - I told her that I needed to read a book and find out the best way to explain it to her.  She responded with: "You probably need to look it up in a book because you aren't very good at science"  SCORE!!!  She totally bought it - now hurry and send me any suggestions on how to explain the birds and bees to a 7 year old!

I'll keep you posted on the "best" of our pre-bed conversations...

Spring Break in Mississippi

Mississippi is perfect for easy living…and such a cool state…I mean, what other state has a cool song like this...

“M I crooked letter crooked letter I crooked letter crooked letter I humpback humpback I”

I wonder if everyone learned to spell Mississippi with that song? Or is it just a Southern thing? Hmmm…maybe you’ll let me know…also, I remember in Grammar school, at the water fountain, we used to count:

“One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi” – and that was the maximum amount of time allotted for lapping up that precious water after recess… My girls timed me with the “one Mississippi” count a few days ago, so I guess it’s still alive and well...

My aunt and uncle have a wonderful house in Moss Point, MS, and for some reason they let us “borrow” it each year. The girls LOVE fishing and crabbing (we don’t really catch too much – the nets and poles are out of the water being “checked” most of the time).

This time, on the rainy day, the girls had a pool lesson and we went to the movie theater to watch “Hop”. Then, as all good parents do, we took the girls to the Hard Rock Casino for the buffet...

Kids 6 and under eat free – they obviously hadn’t met Avery when they instituted that rule! Avery ate her weight in shrimp, crab legs and dessert – all 40 pounds of her!

One afternoon was spent running in the sprinkler and playing with water "guns"...

We found the perfect beach and playground in Ocean Springs. It was an overcast windy day, but that didn’t stop Morgan and Avery from running after all of the birds.

We always stop at Shearwater Pottery in Ocean Springs -we are so excited that they are firing regularly again.  When Shane and I got married 13 years ago, we had all of our everyday dishes/cups and mugs made at Shearwater.  Luckily, through the years, only a few pieces have cracked - so now I can replace them.  Also, Shane is collecting the Pirates, Avery is collecting the Dogs and Morgan is collecting the Panda Bears.  I love that the girls are starting such a cool collection like Shearwater.

I almost forgot - a stop at The Shed for barbecue...  I wasn't really in the mood for BBQ that afternoon, but I was overruled.  So I ordered chicken nachos - thinking that was a good compromise - oh NO!!!  there were baked beans on the nachos!!  Yuck!  But Shane and the girls love some Shed BBQ, so I had a cheese sandwich when we got back to the house.  The girls LOVE the alligator at The Shed, here are some pics...

We made it home in time for me to set my alarm at 3:30 this morning for the Royal Wedding!  Ah... so beautiful!  Don't know when I will have the heart to delete it from the DVR list... and I found the "British Monarchy's" Flicker account from people.com - SWEET!!  I am such a Royal Stalker - but how can I resist?!?

Hope your weekend is filled with laughs - I'm so glad we have two more "no school days"!!

A Week in Review...

Wednesday I went on Avery's fieldtrip to the Strawberry Patch.   We had such a great time!!   The tears were streaming down my face on the drive home - not because of my swollen ankles, sweaty wig and aching back...but because I was so thankful to have been able to go on the fieldtrip with my Baby Bird Avery...

Thursday I got to see both of my girls at school - Easter Parties!

Friday we gathered for the Oustalet/Junca Crawfish Boil.  I have to admit, I was hesitant to dive into the crowd when we arrived - I didn't know how well I would handle all of the "cancer talk".  Thankfully (due to sunglasses) - the first two people didn't notice the tears welling up in my eyes...But it got better as the day went on...I was reminded by the questions that I have a 50% percent chance of the cancer coming back in three years - I could have lived without that reminder - I'm SO good at blocking those darn things out!  Don't worry - I'm blocking it out again - and plus - the best revenge is living well!

Saturday we hung out with the Inman girls...

And Easter Sunday we gathered at GiGi's for gumbo and an Easter Egg Hunt...

And here's my beautiful family - alive and well!

 Hope you had a fantastic Easter too!

recent happenings...

So I made it through the first round of "maintenance Rituxan" (the drug that attacks the protein that Lymphoma makes).  There were no "chemo" side effects, but I have had a migraine everyday since the treatment.  Luckily I saw the neurologist and I have some good migraine meds...

On Friday night I was home alone while Shane took the girls to NOLA.  I took a quick "make my migraine go away" nap and then I started scrapbooking.  I'm fussing less over the details now, and enjoying the creative process more.  Here are my layouts...

Then Saturday night, my cousin Kristy hosted a Fundraiser for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society at her art studio Color Me Nola.  Everyone had to wear a wig, scarf or hat - and bring alcohol!!  We had a blast and raised $400!

The icing on top of the cake was hanging with two of my oldest friends (ok - so I'm not calling them OLD, but I've known them longer than just about anyone else!)  Jen and Meredith played BINGO with me during Shane's Bachelor party - told you - LONG TIME!!  Next time we get together - it's BINGO for sure!!!

Naturally recovery is slower than I would like.  Everyday I swallow down three Aleve with breakfast and a few more with dinner...that's just so I can get dressed and sleep... and at about 3 o'clock everyday I'm dying for a nap!  Shane told me today that a co-worker who was receiving treatment with me just said the same thing to him - makes me feel a little more "normal" - in the post cancer world anyway...

A big step towards feeling like my old self is the appearance of hair...Thanks to Morgan, here is a picture of my "new locks" - ha!

here's Averybird modeling my wig - such a nut!

hope you are having a great week!

Update from a Cancer Survivor...

So this is what life is like after cancer...I'm loving every minute of my new health!

So I went to the neurologist last week to get some medicine for my migraines, and let me tell you...my medical history is now more twisted that Bethenny's last therapy session...seriously, the nurse had to check back twice to see if I had finished... good news - got drugs, interesting news - I was introduced to the cancer patient life - TEST EVERYTHING!!!  since my post-cancer migraines are completely different than the migraines I had for the previous 15 years, I'm having an MRI to make sure lymphoma hasn't spread to my brain...

I kind of felt like I cheated on my oncologist, so I fessed up.  He did relieve that nagging anxiety about BRAIN cancer - telling me that when lymphoma spreads to the brain, the patient generally has major trouble - like speech impairment, or motor skill impairment, so I feel better - but still - I love the TEST EVERYTHING approach - safe and sound makes for a better night sleep!

another post-cancer development - HAIR!!!  I have NEVER been so thankful to break out the razor and shave my legs!  I also have a little growth on my head, and my sweet child Morgan has decided that I have a "mohawk"!  I admit, it's a little spiky on the top and still flat on the sides, so she's not that far off - it just made me laugh when she said it!

Now picture this - my mom's friend Ali bought me the Nioxin hair products that help with hair re-growth.  So there is this scalp stimulator and it says to spray on and leave on - it cautions that it could turn your scalp red and tingly...so I try it...while still in the shower, I sprayed it on my scalp...then I got out of the shower, did some laundry, loaded the dishwasher, chose my clothes for the day, and then noticed a warm, tingly sensation on my neck and back...hmmmm...

So I go to the bathroom mirror to find that the "stimulator" has dripped down my back, chest and into my armpits...and wherever it dripped it was BRIGHT RED and BURNING - so if you notice gorilla like hair growth on my back, chest or armpits - please try not to stare!  go figure - it didn't make my scalp red OR tingly!!

On another note - FINALLY i am at the height of fashion - see, I recently read in a fashion magazine that runway models this season are bleaching their eyebrows to make them less noticeable - SCORE!!!!  My eyebrows are sparse at best - see - height of fashion!!  Now I just need to head to Sephora to fix the eyelash problem - ie - lack of them...but i did see how to apply them on "What Not To Wear" - The Learning Channel at its best!

Lastly, my sweet husband through me a surprise "You Beat Cancer" dinner...I LOVE THAT MAN!!!!

and he had a Louisville Slugger made that said "Heather Bellanger   2011   I BEAT CANCER"

Have I mentioned how much I love my Ironman???

Loving every minute of my new life - I still get slowed down by back pain and the migraines, but my oncologist reminded me that I just endured 18 weeks of chemo - i need to take it slowly....slowly???  has he met me?!?

What a fantastic weekend!

I did a little scrapbooking...

While Morgan spent the night at a friend's house, the "Averys" had a marathon dress up playdate.  My mom calls the Averys "Rhythm and Blues" for their last name initials R and B...

First we had the "Avery Brides"

Then the "Avery Saints fans"



Shane renamed them "Giggle Boxes" because that's all we heard for 12 hours!!



and with only one outfit change, both of my girls got dressed for picture day today...

No choice but to have a fantastic week!

PS - As Morgan fell asleep last night, she told me, "Mommy, you should let your hair grow like Ms. Daigle's...you know, when your hair starts to grow...".  If she only knew how long it will take for my hair to get as long as Ms Daigle's - but she was so cute!

Morgan is standing to the right of Ms. Daigle - the BEST second grade teacher ever!!!

the runaway train...

don't ask - I don't know how it happened, but last night I started sobbing...like totally irrational over nothing can't breath sobbing...poor Ironman just wanted to fix it, but there was nothing to fix

It wasn't a pity party, I'm not mad because I have cancer and it's totally unfair, my children weren't kidnapped... no, none of that...just sobbing...so I finally fall asleep (term used loosely)...toss and turn all night...and what happens today...return of the sobbing...this is crazy...after four hours this morning, my head was pounding...I could hardly think straight...luckily Ashley suggests drugs - legal of course...

so I swallow 2 steroids, a loritab and a phenergan to stop the pounding in my head and then upon Ashley's suggestion, I chase that with two Xanax...it's no wonder that i didn't think of "vitamin X" considering I stopped anti-anxiety/anti-depression meds over 4 months ago...

so I texted Ashley with a record of my medicinal intake...just in case the paramedics were called for my impending cardiac arrest...and an hour later, I was devoid of any emotional responses at all...It did the trick, I mean I had to stop the bleeding, it's quite possible I would be in the fetal position still sobbing if I hadn't taken Ashley's advice..

Surely there is some crazy hormonal imbalance in my body - am I menopausal due to the chemo? - yes, I think so, am I coming out of it? I hope so! Are my hormones depleted/raging/mad at me??? it's quite a mystery...and then the core question...How long do I give these insane hormones time to settle down before seeking professional help?? I mean, there must be happy medium between a sobbing buffoon and the xanax induced robot, right??

Why I am sharing this with you? Who knows...I'm an open book and I just can't help myself - plus the last few posts were "pretty rosy", so we all needed a reality check. Anyway, it's safe to say that everything is fine...for now...and I'll keep you posted on any further "commit her to a padded cell meltdowns"

PS - if there was ever a doubt in my head, this squashes it...upon seeing me - bald, eyes swollen shut, nose running, mascara caked into my crows feet - Ironman still manages to love me and tell me I'm beautiful...please don't anyone take away his rose colored glasses - he's going to need them for a while!!!