GiGi's "Chemo Camp"

So it totally stunk that my chemo week and Christmas school break fell on the same week.  Even though Shane planned to take off of work for most of the week, GiGi (my mom) insisted that he be on hand for me and she take care of the girls....If you haven't met my girls...well...they are high maintenance...and she's not in her thirties anymore...just sayin'...

But she is determined...and no one gets in the way of "determined GiGi"...

Pre-Chemo Camp, Shane took the girls to Target to do a little shopping...see, Shane thought it would be fun if they had hats just like Mommy...I really am married to my hero....how cute are we??? and it really is helping them adjust to my new look...

and as you will notice, the hats were a wardrobe staple of the duration of "Chemo Camp"....

so first GiGi calls in one of her teenage music students Jade to help with the "princesses" on Monday and Tuesday.  Didn't hurt one bit that SHE showed up in a hat - Mommy is getting cooler by the second!  Jade's mom is a photographer and she sent a suitcase full of dancing school costumes (the equivalent of me hitting the Powerball in the girl's eyes)  On Monday, Jade applied makeup and the fashion show began...

After seeing some of the poses, costumes and makeup, even I am getting nervous about the hormone years...

Monday night we all helped Hannah celebrate her 5th birthday (hats included)!

Tuesday (with Jade now being called "the big sister) involved an indoor bounce house stop, carousel rides at the mall, shopping at Justice AND "Red Velvet Ice Cream" from Menchie's (Avery's exact words...)...all compliments of the one and only GiGi... (and thank goodness they changed shirts from Monday!)

Jade was relieved from duty on Tuesday after peeling Avery off of her leg and just in time for Allison, another one of my mom's teenage students to report to duty for Wednesday and Thursday....next up...the Audubon Zoo!  Ashley, Collin, Hannah, Parker, GiGi, Morgan, Avery, Aunt Nisey and Allison went to the zoo on Wednesday...Can you imagine that crew???  Here, let me give you a visual...

Wednesday night Hannah even got in on the Chemo Camp action - first having a pizza party and sleepover at Uncle Ken's - and playing LIFE with Allison on the new I-Touch's, then Thursday all three girls set out for Art Camp at our cousin Kristy's art studio on Magazine Street, Color Me Nola

Each time I ask the girls about her favorite part (after plying the I-Touch out of her hand to get her attention), I get a different response - so clearly the entire week was a MAJOR success!

One eensy weensy problem... Avery didn't finish painting her bag at art camp...No problem... Kristy has sketched out the design and we just need to finish the painting, I am a little crafty you know... BUT NOOOOO...I have been asked to call Kristy and MAKE SURE I know what to do to complete the bag...My coolness factor just tanked!

On January 15th, Ash Marie, the owner of Inspire in Thibodaux is doing a "Year in Review" page.  I love the style and since I can't make it to the class, I think I'm going to use a similar idea to fit in all of the pieces of GiGi's Chemo Camp.  Here's her layout, the class is on Saturday, Jan 15th - check it out!

And on a sad note for the scrapbooking community, two more local stores are closing.  Scrapbooks and More in Denham Springs will close on January 11 and Simply Scrappin' is liquidating their warehouse right now.  PLEASE SUPPORT the few remaining locals here and in your area - although I always love a good deal online, I still love to walk into a store and feel the glitter on the paper and the texture of the trims - memories and the materials - that's why I love scrapbooking!

Thank Goodness for Persistent, Insistent and Caring Doctors...

Many people have asked how my cancer was discovered, and I have to admit I owe my life to Dr. William Elliott at the Emergency Room at Baton Rouge General...here's the story...settle in...may take a while...

On September 21, I had been suffering from a 4 day stomach virus.  I was dehydrated and had a monster migraine...Shane and Ashley insisted that I go to the ER, and at the time I just REALLY wanted the migraine to go away, so I let Shane put me in the car (with minor kicking and screaming) and Ashley and I went off to the ER...

Comical 3 hour long waiting experience...You would not believe how many people walk in the ER asking for the vending machines...People, there's a fast food joint on every corner, but you NEED a vending machine for dinner???  Gimme a break!  The hospital ER does provide VERY interesting people watching...we tried not to stare...

So after the 3 hour waiting room wait (of which I almost left about 10 times, but was given the mean face by Ashley), we get called back.  I explain to the nurse that I am dehydrated and I need the migraine cocktail and then we would be on our way.  This early twenty something "scruffy from a three day beard" tells me that two high school football players were just brought in by an ambulance and he estimated that I would see the doctor in two hours....Are you kidding me???  I almost walked out... again!!!  So we had already waited for three hours and I was told that I would wait for another two...there were some unpleasant words coming from my mouth...

Finally Dr. Elliott comes in and I clearly explain that I need hydration and the migraine cocktail and then I can go home....This isn't my first rodeo in the ER for a migraine...But he asks me about abdomen pain...And answer that I have cysts on my ovaries all the time so naturally I have abdomen pain...He presses around, I moan, and I guess he decided with all of his medical school knowledge that just maybe the pain I was having wasn't from the cysts...And that's why he's a doctor and I'm a CPA...

But he puts the orders in for fluids and the cocktail, the IV goes in and I'm immediately in heaven...

He also ordered some blood work...I really don't even remember the scruffy nurse drawing blood, but he was cute in a country boy sort of way and Ashley and I were teasing him about his beard, and I was getting the cocktail, so it's not crazy that I would have forgotten that part...

Then out of nowhere, someone comes in to take me for a chest xray...I'm like WHOA MISTER!!!!  I have a stomach bug - I didn't break my breastbone...so we call the nurse..and he confirms that Dr. Elliott ordered an xray of my chest and abdomen...and all I can think is that they are trying to run my bill up...but what can I do?

So I get the xray...and I lay in darkness and wait for the xray to be read...then again...out of nowhere Mr. CAT SCAN guy comes in and tells me I need to drink these two ginormous containers of nastiness...I politely tell him that I haven't kept down anything in four days so I'm pretty sure that's impossible...his response in a joking but stern voice, "I can't leave until you finish drinking it"....By this time, I am ready to blow a gasket.  We are at hour ten in the ER, Mom has changed places with Ashley so she could go home and sleep and I am livid!

So there I go for the CAT SCAN, then we have to wait for that to be read...Bottom line...Dr. Elliott comes to tell me that the blood work showed that my liver enzymes were elevated which led him to do to the CAT SCAN which showed that my liver was enlarged.  He suggested I follow up pretty quickly with the GI doc at the ER that night, Dr. Andrew Nelson...

Now how many times have I completely ignored that doctor's advice when it concerned me??  Always...Not once have I ever ignored a doctor's suggestion when it concerned my children. but for me?... that can always wait another day...

But something just told me to follow up...divine intervention...So I went to see Dr. Nelson who did some more blood work, and looking at me thought I looked perfectly healthy, and ordered an ultrasound which all confirmed what was found at the hospital.  He didn't think my liver was the problem, just a byproduct of the real problem - and he informed me that not only was my liver enlarged, but my spleen and some lymph nodes were swollen also.  Because of the spleen enlargement, he suggested I see Dr. Derrick Spell, a Hematologist.  Dr. Nelson picked up his cell  phone and called Dr. Spell's cell phone, and in minutes I had an appointment with Spell the next day.

I went to see Dr. Spell completely alone - just thinking this was another appointment in a wild goose chase that was really just going to turn out to be a tapeworm or something boring like that....I was so naive at this point, I had no idea that his office was in Mary Bird Perkins and that "Hematologist" is usually coupled with "Oncologist".  I was so freaked out when I realized this, I was hardly able to coherently meet with the Patient Coordinator and give her all of the important information for my file...I'm positive I was stumbling through questions about my birthday and marital status...I'm talking freaked out!

Dr. Spell decided to do a Bone Marrow Biopsy to rule out Leukemia and other Blood Disorders - scheduled for the NEXT day!  I was NEVER put to the side, this group of doctors was fantastic in their interaction and prioritizing of my case.  We got the results of the Bone Marrow Biopsy and we did the celebration "No Leukemia" dance.  Never once during this process did Shane and I ever really think I had cancer.  I was making jokes about it, but we always thought something strange and easily fixable would be the culprit.  Dr. Spell then recommended surgery to biopsy one of the swollen lymph nodes.  He picked up the phone and was talking to Dr. Kleinpeter within minutes.  I had an appointment with the surgeon the next day, and surgery at the end of the week.  Somewhere in our discussions, Dr. Spell mentioned that if the lymph nodes turned up clear, we should probably biopsy my liver.

Once I got home, Shane and I realized, why not have Dr. Kleinpeter biopsy my liver and lymph nodes while he was going in, so I called Dr. Nelson (GI doc) and mentioned it to him.  Done deal.  Dr. Nelson and Dr. Kleinpeter handled it and it was all set up... I didn't have to make another call to either of them.

Now that was even more divine intervention...because the biopsied lymph node was damaged and the pathologists couldn't make an accurate determination from the node...It was the liver biopsy that determined my lymphoma.  So from September 21 to November 25, I went from thinking I was completely healthy (with a side of anxiety) to being diagnosed with Stage 4 Lymphoma...(the two month gap was only caused my waiting for test and biopsy results) So once again...I owe my life to the persistence of Dr. Elliott who was NOT trying to run up my bill and for each successive doctor who was determined to find the reason for a perfectly healthy looking woman to have such strange blood test readings and enlarged "insides".

Dr. Nelson and his nurse Jan (from the GI world) have kept in contact with me regularly.  Just checking in, and this week they surprised me with a cookie bouquet.  Just amazing!  As Jan says, "You're still our patient", and my response is, "but Jan, y'all can't fix me", but that doesn't matter to them...they truly care about my recovery.  About every three months, I see Rhonda Browning a Nurse Practitioner at a Psychiatrist's office, and since the diagnosis she regularly calls to make sure my anxiety/depression is under control, that I am getting as much sleep as possible, and most importantly just to say Hello and that she is praying for me.

Sorry - this isn't one of my funnier posts, but it has been on my mind for a while, first to explain how this all happened, but more significant was to thank all of the medical professionals involved - without them, their care, knowledge and team effort I would not be on the road to recovery.  You have my deepest respect.... heather

Damn 'roids...

Steroids, not hemorrhoids...just to clear up any confusion...so I got in bed at 10pm and slept on and off....more off until now (1:30am).  Yesterday was chemo day, and the best part of chemo day is the fantastic night sleep I get that night.  Last night I slept from 8pm until 9:30am...I guess the steroids aren't fully "oonce oonce" dancing by then....

Chemo went well yesterday...Sister Jen (as in my sister, not a Nun in the Catholic Church) hung out with me all day during chemo and *BONUS* addressed all of my New Year's Card... Once she saw my wobbly chemo handwriting, she decided I could stuff and stamp - SCORE for ME!!!  Part of them got mailed today, but then we ran out of envelopes so that certainly impeded our process...so then...she took a nap...

As you look around the chemo room (when all of the recliners aren't filled with patients), it's comical to see how many "caregivers" are asleep while the chemo patient is WIDE awake...I even mentioned this to one of the nurses...she said, "it's the steroids that keep you awake", so naturally I asked if the caregivers could get a little side of steroid to keep them awake...she just laughed - but I was SERIOUS!!!!

"BFF from College Jen" is coming to hang out tomorrow. (There are so many Jens in my life that they all have titles) I warned her that I would probably fall asleep while she was talking to me, but with 3 girls ages 7, 5 and a newborn she will just crawl in bed with me without any hesitation.  Little does she know that designing some built in bookshelves for the Bonus Room is on her agenda, but she's an architect, I figure 30 minutes and done!

I've been procrastinating long enough, I guess I'll do some work - accounting work...I need to do something for that paycheck that keeps rolling in...Soon that paycheck is going to be rolling out to the new CPAs, but I couldn't me more thankful to have found three fun, competent and trustworthy people to join us this tax season. 

I have another blog post in the works, but I can't push it...You've given me your attention for long enough, and for that I am stunned!!!!!  Hope you are sleeping!

post Christmas wrap up....

one word....magical!!!

we had minimal fighting (I'm talking about Morgan and Avery, now the adults on the other hand....)...delicious food...family together...and a TOTAL EXEMPTION card for me for all holiday chores...no warming food (no one ever asks me to cook anything...they have learned from experience)...no kitchen clean up...no trash take out...no wrapping paper pick up...I mean...cancer DOES have its advantages!

Here we are on Christmas Eve at my Bellanger in-law's house...

right now, you might be wondering, "well that's weird, Heather said "the Bellanger in-laws", must be chemo brain"....oh but no...while I have only been married once, my children are blessed with two sets of grandparents on the "Daddy side"...I also have "the Barthe in-laws"...for a while, my children could NOT figure it out...and now when I remind them that they have more grandparents to love them...they equate that to double the birthday presents...oh well, I tried...

but my family isn't the easiest to explain either....here is the Cliff Notes version....

here are my "sisters" on Christmas day...three DORKS...notice we all have the same sweater on...just three different colors - DORKS!  here's the hard to explain part...Obviously that's me in the hat...next to me is Ashley....we share the same mom and dad, but that dad died when we were 12 and 8 respectively leaving Mom with the two of us...it's a wonder poor Mom still has a brain...Act Two...Mom remarries and we get Jen as a step-sister (and Jason as a step-brother)...Fast forward 10ish years and Mom and Act Two divorce...and I like to say "we got Jen in the divorce"...come on people...she lives in the compound!!!  so for a while me and Ash called her "Ex-Step-Sister Jen" or "Quasi-Sis Jen", but that was just too long and required too much explanation, so that's why you just hear me say I have two sisters...

It's funny when my girls want to hear stories about when Nanny (Ashley) was a baby or stories about Zia (Jen) as a baby...they just don't get the concept....and I rationalize it the same way I do my in-laws, "more people to love you"...and we now how that registers in their minds...

here are just a few funny pictures from Christmas...

I hope your holiday was magical too!! 

Vacuum Break

Why can't I ever spell vacuum?  I GUESS every time and EVERY time, I'm wrong!  But considering today I called Ash to check the spelling of her 8 year long husband's name...I hopeless!!

So I'm supposed to be picking up the piles of crap  very organized and meaningful things that are all over my house...then I get distracted and I do some laundry...then I remember the floor needs vacuuming to remove the tumbleweeds of hair...and every time the girls start to fight I make them put more of the organized and meaningful things away...

But this time I got really distracted...I've been wanting to share this with you since I got them...but, you know, I forgot....

If you aren't a scrapper or card maker, you might not be interested...but #1) I love etsy and  #2) I love Paper Eclectiques...so I had to share...

Now if you click on the link, you'll get the message that they are on vacay right now, but either check back, or click on the button that sends you an email when they reopen. 

Two or three years ago...I decided my Christmas and Birthday shopping was not going to be dictated by what was in the big box store of the day...So I shop all year...If I see something unique, especially handmade in January for a friend's birthday in August, I buy it...And sometimes my family and friends don't get a gift on "the special occasion" because I haven't found the perfect gift...but I always promise that one is coming and 95% of the time, I deliver :)

BTW - when I saw these tags on Paper Eclectiques, the listings were for 6 of one design....but I didn't want 6 Santas or 6 Naughty or Nice, so I convo'ed them on etsy about a "combo" pack...and within minutes they answered me...asked me to specify which ones I wanted and then created a special listing for me....I LOVE them!!!  And ya' know how I found them...by searching "vintage Christmas paper"...just turns out that they live right down the road...small world... (ps..I never said anyone lived "right down the road" until I moved to the outskirts of Baton Rouge...I was a city until 4 years ago....

I hope whatever is on your "To Do List" today is getting more attention than mine...ahhh... there's always tomorrow....

Oh Fingertips...Where Art Thou....

Stop grossing out....I still PHYSICally HAVE fingertips, I simply can't FEEL them...Going on week 2 without "fingertip feeling"...Don't be alarmed...I remember reading that it is some side effect of some drug I'm on...and really....these days...everything is a side effect of something else

"Mommy, can you button my jeans"...um... no...sorry.... you can't imagine how many things require fingertip feeling...This week I finally did finish 2 scrapbook layouts...Note to self: DO NOT try to stick those little black gem dots down until fingertip sensation returns....I needed Xanax to control my "gem rage" caused by the lack of fingertip feeling that is caused by one of the chemo drugs...oh lord... I need a drink... oh, but contrere' mon frere'...no drink with chemo...well damn.... here are the layouts...

Who can resist the annual "fake smile" school picture....

Since Monday, I have received so many wonderful emails, voicemails and comments on Facebook on the hair loss "situation"...some of favorite suggestions and positives:

• in lieu of hair - buy a "wardrobe" of faux eyelashes and "sexy" eye makeup...draw attention to the eyes...
• count up what I would normally spend on my hair during the next year, and go on a shopping spree...for scrapbook supplies, of course...
• have professional photos done of my baldness...hmmm....give me some time with my baldness and I'll get back to that one...
• no more bed head...or bad hair days...
• and drumroll.....the best of all.... no more shaving my legs!!!!!!!

And I apologize for not answering anyone this week...while it has been filled with laughter, the hair thing is still a little rough around the edges...just going to take me a little while to get used to it before I can talk about...so I'm not avoiding anyone in particular...I'm just avoiding the subject in general...

Here's a picture of me, Lucy and Ashley at lunch yesterday...this was my great-grandmother Mun's hat...perfect for a Christmas lunch!

So by the looks of my hair right now...if you are placing bets...I suggest you putting your money on Friday....I predict Friday as fully BALD day...hmmm... now how do I properly sunscreen my head...gotta Google...

I knew it was going to happen...

so why did it hit me so hard?  I planned to go to two stores today - Royal Standard and Sam's...and since I couldn't remember the last time I washed my hair, I figured it might need it - I mean, probably not, but what the hell...

wet hair, lather with shampoo, rinse...but it didn't stop there...handfuls of hair came out...this was not your regular "post pregnancy hair loss".... this was chemo hair loss... and pardon the pun... but I lost it....

In a ball on the shower floor I cried until the hot water ran cold...I sobbed until my insides hurt...Just about some stupid hair...

And then I got out of the shower, turned up the heat since my lips were blue, got dressed and headed out on my errands.  It has continued to fall out all day and when I called a fellow chemo patient, she said when hers started to fall out on a Monday, she was bald by Friday...

Thank goodness I bought some pretty scarves at Royal Standard's sale today - looks like I'll be using them a little earlier than expected...The doctor said hair loss starts anywhere from 2 to 5 weeks after the first chemo session... Did I really have to be an over achiever in this particular situation??

Going to download "tying the turban" from the net - Wish me luck!

The Worrywart...

If you know me well (OK - If you have met me), you know I worry....Now I don't worry about cancer, world peace or global warming...No, no....I worry about much more important things like:

• do we have Christmas stamps for the Christmas cards...
• are the girls' socks white enough...
• did I spellcheck...
• using only pencil in my planner in case of change...I hate using white out and I DO NOT scratch out...
• signing every tax return legibly
• downloading and editing pictures at least twice a week
• the list could go on and on and on...just ask Shane, Ashley, Jen, Lucy, my mom - they would be MORE than happy to continue the list...

You are probably yelling at the computer for me to get some help...Years of therapy have taught me one thing...This is not going to change...Almost every night I have to envision myself locked in a dark cell with only a cot...And on a good night it only takes me like 20 times to remind myself to stopping thinking of other things and focus on being very still on the cot before I fall asleep...Therefore anxiety medications (all 4 of them) are VERY important to me...

But I realized something today...and I dare say this could be a MAJOR turning point in my life....

The "as of yet to be ordered" Christmas cards just turned into New Year cards - and that, my friend, is what I call a big step toward a worry free existence...I'll keep you posted...but in the meantime...it's time for my nighttime meds....

Just Dance!!!

Seriously put your favorite music on and DANCE - don't even try to put on the Kenny G Christmas Album - I'm talking bass pumping loud "oonce oonce" DANCE MUSIC....

Ya' know why???? My White Blood Count went up to.....

4.3 (FYI - 4.5 is "normal")

Should have seen me and GG (the nurse practitioner at the Oncologist's office) doing the Happy Dance!!! I mean, it was a little awkward, it kind of looked like this....



Which meant......drumroll please.......I can LEAVE the BUBBLE!!!!!!!  Although GG instructed me to be cautious, I CAN go to Sonic for a Route 44 Diet Cherry Coke (I swear I only did that ONCE this week, and I confessed to Shane and Ashley FIRST, and isn't your car parked in the garage just an extension of your bubble...and hello... it's Sonic....drive up....not even leaving the extended bubble....)

I did stop for a celebratory mani and pedi on the way home - Don't yell at me either - the WBC MADE me do it!!!  It's totally a new phenomenon experienced by some chemo patients...It's called "WBC Elation"...Seriously, Google it...would I lie???

Ok - sometimes I lie when I don't have anything better to say...but trust me on the WBC Elation thing...

Then after the Happy Dance and WBC Elation and even more happy dancing because I got the OK to go our friend's Dirty Dirty Santa party....panic set in....The "I have nothing to wear" panic....If you are a man you DO NOT understand this panic - because jeans and some J.Crew shirt are ALWAYS appropriate - no matter WHAT the dress code...but girls...you know what I'm talking about...

Normally I would run into a store and buy 10 things and then return all but what I decided to wear to the party...but even though my WBC went up I wasn't throwing caution to the wind and I knew I needed a nap before the party...hell, I need a nap everyday....So....I did what I always do in these situations....I called Ashley and told her to bring me whatever she had that was even somewhat clean...Febreeze and 5 minutes in the dryer makes anything "clean"....

Dressed and ready to go we made it to the "Dirty Dirty Santa" party - that's a separate post...where we spent the night with some of our best friends Lee Anne, Craig and Gina...

The party was fantastic...hanging out with Lee Anne and Gina was better than steroids...and yes, I mean that...even after fully embracing the pain relieving power of steroids...I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt!  Girlfriends are the bomb.com!

And thanks to everyone for all the prayers this week...I must have a lot of friends with the direct line to God...because the prayers worked...My aunt even gave me this visual....

God...standing in front of hundreds of women...with his hands out...saying..."Please...enough already...I've HEARD you....I got this.... I GOT THIS....give me some peace already..."  It's funny every time I think of it!

So have a fantastic weekend - I hope it tops mine...but it would have to be "The Rockettes Christmas Show spectacular" to top "my" yesterday...but I hope you do!  Merry Laughing!!!

Two Amazing Days!

Today and yesterday have been filled with wonderful special fantastic surprises....and then just a few random funnies thrown in there too...

1. Ash got her "Chemo Cut" on Wednesday.  I had NO IDEA - and she looks beautiful!  presenting before and after....

2. Just found out that MONDAY - Jen got her "chemo cut" and she has been keeping it a secret - WHAT???  No secrets from chemo girl!...When  I asked if she loved it - she said, "No, but I love you!"  Jen has been letting her hair grow for 3 years and Ashley only trims 2cm off every few months...my sisters are VERY CLOSE to their HAIR - so this is truly a sacrifice!!!

3. MY HAIR has NOT fallen out - yippee!!!  But I don't have a sassy new haircut like my sisters...so I'm jealous!

4. My EOB came from United Healthcare and my $10K Chemo session is considered an "Office Visit" with a $25 co-pay.  Seriously....makes NO sense to me... But I am thankful that we can afford the costs (however they are coded) and I'm equally hopefully that Shaw keeps Shane EMPLOYED and INSURED!

5. I got an e-mail from Maya Road that I am receiving a box of goodies after being nominated for the "Be A River" campaign.  Thanks to "Susan in NY" for nominating me and everyone who voted!!!  Too bad I can't have a big crop for everyone to play with the goodies, but I promise to share :)  - here is a picture of Susan and me in Nashville circa 2008...we are SaSSy!!!

6. My mom is out running errands armed with a LIST of things we need for the school parties, gift swaps, and holiday happenings - while I stay home and make WBCs...  Thank goodness for GiGi!

7. Our pediatrician, Dr. Kelly Busenlener, called in a prescription for Morgan knowing that I'm in the bubble and working very hard to make WBCs and can't risk entering the pediatrician's office...Get to know your pediatrician VERY well - she/he makes our babies better!

8. I have received so many cards, happy gifts and delicious food this week.  The response from family and friends is simpy AMAZING!

9. Nanny and Zia saved the day today.  They "took one for the team" and each celebrated CAFETERIA CHRISTMAS LUNCH with her godchild.  It takes some strong LOVE  and stomach to accept THAT lunch invitation!

I'm going to sleep tonight with a happy heart!  I will always treasure these days!

My status update on Facebook....

It seems that many people are just reading of my cancer for the first time via Ashley's "chemo cut".  If you would like to read the story from the day the news broke until now (less than a month), then visit my blog post here:

http://laughoutloud-heather.blogspot.com/2010/11/elves-screwed-up.html

thank you for all of the emails that are pouring in - I save each and every one of them in a folder called "KICK IT!" so that I can refer to them often!  I'm POSITIVE I'll win this fight...just going to take some hard work!

heather

Decluttering the Bubble...

So, a friend gave another friend two scrapbook cutting machines.  Cutting machines sat in her house for two years, friend decided a few months back that I should have them..."friend" is being used loosely here, b/c all this did was clutter my bubble..where I try to keep completely clutter free...

So here they are... up for grabs... $50 each AFTER you have taken them home and decided if they work at all...crap shoot...but a safe one...it's buyer beware, with a return policy... but if you find they don't work, they will be gifted to Goodwill, except what's Goodwill going to do with broken cutting machines...Oh, I know, I'll sell them for parts!!  Oh - how I can crack myself up!

First up... a QuickKutz Silhouette-1 Digital Craft Cutter... appears to have blade mechanism in place with three adjustment caps and the ballpoint pen holder...Serial Number H612A01088 if that helps anyone...Basic Instruction Guide....Software User and Manual CD...Cutting Mat... No sign of the power cable, AC adapter or USB cable...Bottom line...If you have a friend with a Silhouette with cords, you could take this and make sure it works, then check if cords are available and reasonalby priced

Second up... Pazzles Creative Cutter Mini...purchased Sept 2006 for $645...It has:
The machine
Pazzles Cutting and Design Software
128 page full color Instruction Manual
Set Up Sheet
7 Peice Tool Kit
Sampler Paper PAck
USB to Serial Driver CD
3 Adhesive Mats
1 Fabric Mat
Blade Holder with 1 Blade for Cardstock
1 Blade for vinyl and vellum

What is doesn't have...CDSET 1 and CDSET 6...I have emailed Pazzles and replacement parts are still available for this model...I  have the reps name if needed...What you might consider...Pricing the CD SETS on ebay, etc.  And isn't this a machine where you can cut anything you can download from the web?  I don't know....

So for anyone who wants to give these a try... PLEASE, PLEASE take them from me...I have included the price because I feel like I should send SOMETHING to the original purchasing friend, but that's negotiable since they have now taken up residence in my house 4 years after the original purchase...It's a WIN WIn, as long as your willing to drive to Dutchtown to get them....

PS - Slept 10 hours last night and then 4 hours today...aaahhhhh...rest does a body GOOD!

Greetings from the Bubble....

Just got home from the doctor... Last week my White Blood Cell (WBC) was 2.2.  The normal range is 4.5 to 10.something.  BUT....I got that FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC WBC producing shot...And you know what my count was this week????

1.0 

Not kidding... not even a little...So now I am taking an antibiotic - preventative measures...And living in a bubble until the number comes up...

The worst part of this is that the PAIN that I have been having will continue until that number goes up.  According to the doc, bone marrow production occurs mostly in the upper part of your body, hence the pain in my lower back, neck, sternum, shoulders...you get the picture...

But I did get a steroid that could help with the pain...here's the BUT - it will keep me awake...since I'm not doing much sleeping anyway I guess I better swallow down the steroid and make a To Do List for "Bubble Week".

Having NOTHING on my agenda = depression; therefore, I am confronting "Bubble Week" with a full list of senseless projects and unnecessary tasks...

If you are VERY healthy and want to stop by this week, give me a call - the phone works in the Bubble...

Low Expectations...

It's comforting that the one place that has NO EXPECTATIONS whatsoever about your appearance is the Oncologist's office.
 
Pajamas - check. 
Dirty hair...lucky dog still has hair!
The scent of moth balls or Old Spice - no problem...
Chipped Nail Polish?  No manis and pedis due to risk of infection...
Torn Wham Concert T-shirt from the 80's? - I'd wear one in a heartbeat! NO ONE would notice!

The staff is just genuinely happy that you made it to another appointment...Just another day closer to the cure!

Laugh...

It's a simple word...I can get lost in it...I can search on etsy for the word "laugh" for hours...just looking at all the handmade goodies that include the word LAUGH...

Ironman (with the help of Ash) bought this from etsy after one of my searches...This morning Avery asked what this block spelled... I said "laugh"...She said, "That's a funny word."  And she's right...I told her it's pretty much my favorite word...Because if everyday includes a laugh...It's a good day...

yesterday (and it is continuing today) has been filled with insane pain...the nerve endings from my abs up to my head are on overload...even a sweep from my cotton nightgown is like an electric shock to my system...I've tried everything (but please, feel free to suggest something else)...We think it's the Neulasta protein shot...I can guarantee it's chemo related, so I'm not exactly surprised....

so Ashley heard from a woman who took the shot that she found relief from lying on the cold tile floor...so at midnight last night...I was lying on the kitchen floor while Shane searched the Internet for any other nutty pain relievers...And while lying on the tile floor did help, my legs were shaking because they were freezing and my medi port was aching and my butt bones were burrowing into the floor...reading how much everyone hates this shot...we were laughing...because we were together...in this crazy thing called cancer...and it's better than being alone...

My December Daily Album...

Many scrappers do this... totally not my idea... but I decided to do it before the big "C" news came out, so I had my scrapbook ready.  It's been fun - and it helps me to remember to capture a silly picture for everyday during December...I thought I would share some of the nuttiness that keeps our house going...

GiGi has been getting the girls off of the bus everyday, and they LOVE the new Dutchtown library...so these masks were an after-school craft project at the library...

Ashley's in-laws sent me this DEE-licious cookie bouquet - how cute are the feet!?!  I was lucky to snap a picture before the cookie monsters tore into the BIG TOES!

The girls are having a ton of fun with the hats from Karen, Teri and Paula...

And I think this is Avery in her "Marilyn Manson" makeup phase... She got a REAL makeup kit from Zia for her birthday and apparently, she's got a thing for pale skin and STATEMENT lips...oh...and posing!

and if you hadn't noticed by now...of the two girls...Avery might be....ummmm....the crazier one...  Shane was sitting at the dining room table working and Avery climbed up his back, swung her legs around to his chest and put that little butt right on his neck - then demanded that he get up and "see how tall she was"

At least I was laughing!!!! and I could still bite those little toes!

Hope you are laughing your way through December too!

Choosing a "Sitter"

Monday was Day One of Chemo, so Ashley put out a call for "sitters" for Tuesday and Wednesday...This is a warning to all patients everywhere...choose carefully!!!

Tuesday, Karen Tabor's number came up!  I am amazed by how many precious friends I have made in the four years since moving here from New Orleans.  As a Katrina transplant, it was iffy at first.  There was the whole stigma, but scrapbookers are different... a crazy creative welcoming group of women... and they took me in!

Karen is one of those women and when she arrived for duty she was loaded down with gifts from Paula and Teri for my birthday and "chemo necessities".  I was queen for the day with all of the wonderful presents!  And since Karen has had her share of "sitting" with the ill, she came prepared with a needlepoint project in hand.  While I slept, she watched tv quietly and worked on her project.  When I woke, she offered to make me some lunch and freshen my drink.  When you think of the caring loving person to care for you when you are in need, Karen is the friend you need. 

Karen was even in charge of my birthday dinner on Wednesday night.  She had already brought my favorite Royal Standard torte on Monday, so I really just wanted some Chicken Salad from Calvin's.  I was just hoping that I would have the taste buds to enjoy it.  Karen not only delivered Chicken Salad, but a delicious raspberry cake!  Thanks Karen - you are truly a precious friend!  Here's a picture of Karen, Teri and Paula from this summer....  thanks to all three of you for my wonderful goodies!

Just so you know that I'm normal...

And by normal...I know that leaves PLENTY of room for interpretation...but I wanted you to know that today I had an all out cry fest...

I cried A LOT....I asked "Why Me" A LOT...I even maybe screamed a little (remind me to tell the neighbors it's cancer, not time for the padded cell)...  and I didn't want to call anyone and cry to anyone because everyone has busy lives and don't need to hear a blabbering idiot on the other end of the line...

But three things happened, my mom came by to put food in the fridge and finish some laundry (lifesaver) and while she was here, she rubbed my neck which is so stiff from the protein shot and she rubbed my hair like she did when I was a little girl and she kissed me and hugged me and told me it was OK to cry anytime...then Shane came home after getting an SOS text from me and quietly laid beside me and worked from home while I rested and lastly, and really the most comforting for today was a card from a friend Vivian...a quiet friend...and the card stated on the outside:

"Why? Somewhere in your heart, you're probably asking this question."

And that card from Vivian plus some TLC from Shane and my mom was the perfect answer for today's outburst.  That card told me that is is OK to yell and scream and ask Why? sometimes...As long as we wash away those tears with hope for the next day.  Looking forward to laughs tomorrow - hopefully you are too!

Facebook + Birthday + Cancer = SUPERSTARDOM!

I thought I got a lot of birthday wishes last year - but this year is like.....Super Schazaam Birthday Wishes!!!  So, mark your calendars early - because I want JUST as many wishes next year!  No slacking off because I will have beaten cancer and sent it crying home back to momma'!

Monday was Chemo...Today I was back to the doctor for a Neulasta shot - this lovely shot is a protein absorbed into bone marrow to stimulate production of new white blood cells - sounds good, huh?  more white blood cells = better ability to fight infection... here's the BUT, because there is always a BUT with Cancer....it makes your bones hurt - like everywhere!!!  Very weird feeling I have to tell you.  So that's all for the science lesson today... just want to make sure if your boss sees you reading this, you can show her that you were learning about Chemotherapy....BONUS!

The birthday post may have to be divided into two posts... I'll probably need a nap in between and the bigger problem is that I had the thingy to get the pics from today off of my camera in my hand 10 minutes ago and now it has completely disappeared...I'm gonna have to call the authorities...Nevermind that I just tried to take a pill in front of Shane that he HAD JUST GIVEN my five minutes before.  And as he was gently telling me that he just gave me THAT pill, I'm seriously looking at him as if he were from outer space....  Thank goodness he can keep track of the chemo accessory drugs...

So...We've been partying...and please interpret that VERY LIGHTLY since Sunday night.   Ironman...pictured with me here...

Managed to get all of these girls from New Orleans on a Sunday night for my birthday...I know he's the Ironman, but I'm just gonna' throw in the "cancer" may have helped....   This is the most modgepodged group of girls...Some of us are friends because are husbands are best friends (Andy and JCrazy....don't worry - we all call her that and she knows it)...Meredith - AKA high powered attorney looking who could be looking for some fun - if he meets my approval - we worked at Applebee's together...we've come a long way baby!.  Then Jen who quietly knocked on my college dorm room door one night and asked if she could move in...Thank GOD she did! 

Rachel saved me from my first job, helped me decide to go back to school for accounting - my first degree was in math...I'm sure you can imagine the job opportunities...and we have been blissfully happy CPA's ever since...clients are reading this...so I won't talk about the early years...Then you got the sisters, Ash and Jen  -who I thought were the only people coming for the soiree' so I wasn't even going to put on makeup - imagine the horror! and lastly, a wonderful friend that I have met since moving to Baton Rouge, Melanie.  It was like a clown car at the circus - every time the door opened a new surprise walked in!  Ironman (with the help of Ashley) planned a perfect birthday!

(from l to r: Meredith, Jen, Melanie, Andy, Jen, Rachel, Me (squatting but now I realize I was standing next to Ashley, so squatting was just self torture) , Ash and JCrazy...

and the only way I survived teaching at Delgado was through the silly things Freda and I did to make it through the bureaucracy...She snuck out before the group photo...She says it was her parents...but I'm just sayin' I think she left my party for a man.... 

And here are Morgan, Avery and Hannah helping my blow out the candles to my 29th birthday cake!

I love being 29!!!!   More to come very soon....  Gotta find that damn camera thingy....

Chemo Shmemo.....

I'm saying that now...but the side effects haven't kicked in...and the FIVE steroid pills I'll be taking for the next four days are a big concern!

So here's me at the start of Chemo Day (I opened and closed the room Baby!!!)

I would have preferred if the medi port had had more time to heal, but nope, just got right into it.  PS - There was a prominent Baton Rouge businessman having his first chemo today too - and HE needed the numbing cream - No numbing cream for this girl!  Men SO couldn't have babies!!! (His wife agreed - hehe)

Naturally, we chose the corner office with the window...SWEET!  And my Ironman sat in that uncomfortable chair for over 7 hours today.  Don't call him IronMan for nothing!

So remember the prominent businessman?  He and Shane are acquaintances through Shaw.  So he asks Shane if I ever get jealous over the cellphone...like his wife does....

Big Mistake!  He opened the door, so me and his wife (who is Judge - it's not like she sits home eating bon bons!!!) go off about the texting, emailing and phone calls.  And as if the Shaw gods were listening, not five minutes later...these were delivered....

from SHAW!!!!!!   I promise not to complain about the Blackberry for at least a week :)

This is me at the END of CHEMO - day ONE!!!!  Everyone else in the room was bundled in blankets - I simply put that blanket on for the picture.  The steroid caused a MAJOR hot flash that lasted about 3 hours - the corner "office" needed extra a/c!  Don't worry - I had a tank top on - I wasn't sitting there in my bra - but since most people weren't born near my decade they probably wouldn't have noticed if it had been a bra!

Lastly, maybe the biggest disappointment...Mary Bird has Wi-Fi - but Facebook is blocked.  They are going to have to make some accommodations for the "corner office"!!!

I'm going to have Shaw call them and take care of everything!

Some people just aren't right....

I won't say who...but I'll show you this...

and then I'll show you these...the person not pictured here (but pictured in the pre-lunch wig par-tay) was probably the picture taker....just a thought....

this is my Chris Owens look, and I swear Ashley can rock the "hooker" look....

and just in case I find myself at Jazz Fest, I'm wearing the dreads....

I can't show you my REAL wig until it is highlighted and cut so that it looks like Rockstar hair!  Who would have guessed - if the wig is real hair, it can be cut and highlighted.....Yes....hello....My Wig needs an appointment today...NoNo...not me...just my wig....

FOXY!!!!!!

We talked to the girls tonight about my Cancer.  They know the word now...but they were mostly interested in my Mommy's "Hannah Montana" wig...My friend Karen tracked down the info from the American Cancer Society and Ashley  - with camera in hand - went there today....  All I'm sayin' is HOTTTT!!!!  Do you think I should go with the curly brunette?  She looks kinda wild and crazy!!!  It could be my new persona...

I'm going to have to search the Internet on how all the "cool girls" tie their scarves....  But remember, Tuesday is TURBAN TUESDAY!!!!

Now this girl is pretty - in an "I could use a nose job sort of way"....  They need to be careful with the models - that dent had to hurt!

Now I like this sassy thing... All we need are a few highlights and a flat iron and I'm gonna look like Jennifer Aniston...right?

But seriously, if I find a black Elvira wig - done!!!